Whatever: 10 Things Teenage Writers Should Know About Writing

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April 27, 2006

10 Things Teenage Writers Should Know About Writing

Dear Teenage Writers:

Hi there. I was once a teenage writer like you (see goofy picture to the right), although that was so long ago that between now and then, I could have been a teenager all over again. Nevertheless, recently I've been thinking about offering some thoughts and advice on being a teenage writer, based on my own experiences of being one, and on my experiences of being a teenage writer who kept being a writer when he grew up. So here are some of those thoughts, for your consideration.

I'm going to talk to you about writing as straight as I can; there's a possibility that some of what I say to you might come off as abrupt and condescending. I apologize in advance for that, but you should know that I sometimes come off as abrupt and condescending toward everyone, i.e., it's not just you. Also, I hope you don't mind if I don't go out of my way to use current slang and such; there's very little more pathetic than a 36-year-old man dropping slang to prove he's hip to the kids. I own a minivan and the complete works of Journey; honestly, from the point of view of being cool, I might as well be dead. You might find what I have to say useful anyway. Here we go.

1. The Bad News: Right Now, Your Writing Sucks.

It's nothing personal. When I was a teenager, my writing sucked, too. If you don't believe me, check these out: A short story I wrote in high school, and (God help us all) the lyrics to a prog-rock concept album I wrote in my first year of college. Yeah, they suck pretty bad. But at the time, I thought they were pretty good. More to the point, at the time they were also the best I could do. No doubt you are also pounding out stories and songs to the best of your ability... and chances are pretty good that your best, objectively speaking, isn't all that good.

There are reasons for this.

a) You're really young. Being young is good for many things, like being flexible, staying up for days with no ill effects, not having saggy bits, and having hair. For writing deathless, original prose, not so much. Most teenagers lack the experiential vocabulary and grammar for writing well; you lack a certain amount of perspective and wisdom, which is gained through time. In short: You haven't yet developed your true writing voice.

Now, if you're really good, you can fake perspective and wisdom, and with it a voice, which is almost as good as having the real thing. But usually, sooner or later, it'll catch up to you and your lack of experience will show in your writing. This will particularly be the case when you have a compelling, emotional story, which would require the sort of control and delivery of your writing that you only get through time. You may simply not have the wherewithal to express your very important story well. Yes, having a great story you're not equipped to tell pretty much bites. Normally, this is when teens look for help from the writers they admire, which brings us to the next reason your writing sucks:

b) You're besotted by your influences. If you look at those two pieces I linked you to earlier, they rather heavily bear the mark of people like whom I wanted to write -- humorist James Thurber in the case of the short story, and Pink Floyd lyricist Roger Waters in the case of the would-be concept album. If I were to subject you to other writing of mine from the time (and I won't), you'd see the rather heavy influence of other favorite authors and lyricists, including Robert Heinlein, Dorothy Parker, HL Mencken, P.J. O'Rourke, Bono, Martin Gore and Robert Smith. Why? Because I thought these people wrote really, really well, and I wanted to write like them.

You are not likely to have my influences, but you almost certainly have influences of some sort, who you love and to whom you look as models and teachers. But since you're young and haven't gotten your own voice worked out, you're likely to get swamped by your influences. My concept album lyrics aren't just bad because they're the work of an immature writer, but also because it's clear to anyone who cares to look that I was listening to whole hell of a lot of Pink Floyd when I was writing them. Extracting Roger Waters out of those lyrics would require radical surgery. The patient would not likely survive. That's bad.

c) When you're young, it's easier to be clever than to be good. Now, when you're older, it's easier to be clever than to be good too, and you'll see a lot of writers doing just that, even the good ones. This is because "clever" gets laughs and attention and possibly sex (or at least flirting) with that hot little thing over there who thinks you're so damn amusing. And none of that ever gets old. So this is not just a teenage problem. Where teenage writers are at a disadvantage is that you're not always aware when you're genuinely being good, or merely being clever. It's that whole lack of experience thing. Yes, the lack of experience thing crops up a whole lot. What are you going to do.

There's nothing wrong with being clever, and it's possible to be clever and good at the same time. But you need to know when clever is not always the best solution. Even older writers find this a tough nut to crack, and you'll find it even more so.

So those are some of the reasons your writing sucks right now. There may be others. But, now having told you that your writing sucks and why, you're ready to hear the next point:

2. The Good News: It's Okay That Your Writing Sucks Right Now.

Because, look. Everyone's writing sucked when they were teenagers. Why? Simple: Because they were just starting out. Just like you are now.

Writing is tricky thing, because everyone assumes that the act of writing to move and amuse people with words is somehow only slightly more difficult than the act of writing to place words into vaguely coherent sentences. This is like saying that playing professional baseball is only slightly more difficult than hitting a beach ball with a stick. Most everyone can hit a beach ball with a stick, but very few people would think that means they're ready to play in the World Series. Given that, it's funny that people think that they're going to be really excellent writers from the first time they try to tell a story with the written word.

Excepting the freaks of nature, which very few of us are, anything we decide to do takes us time to get good at. It's just that simple. The figure I hear a lot -- and which I agree with, mostly -- is that it takes about a decade for people to get truly good at and creative with their craft. The prime example of this is the Beatles; at 17 John Lennon and Paul McCartney were beginning their musical collaboration together, and ten years later they were writing Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. The "ten years" thing is a guideline, not a rule -- some people hit their stride earlier, some later, but the point is that there was work involved. This is even true of the people you've never heard of before -- scratch most "overnight sensations" in whatever field and you'll find they did their time outside the spotlight.

Understandably, no one wants to hear that you've got to wait the better part of a decade to hit your stride -- who doesn't want to be brilliant now? -- but I think that's looking at it the wrong way. Knowing you've got years to grow and learn means you've got the time to take risks and explore and figure out what works for you and what doesn't. It's permission to play with your muse, not stress out if every single thing you bang out is not flat dead brilliant. It's time to gain the life experience that will feed your writing. It's time you need to write -- and time you need to not write and to give your brain a break. It's the time you need to learn from your literary influences, and then to tell them to piss off because you've got your own voice and it's not theirs. And it's the time you need to screw up, make mistakes, learn from them and move on.

The fact that your writing sucks now only means that your writing sucks right now. If you keep working on it it'll very likely get better... and then comes the day that you write something that really doesn't suck. You'll know it when it happens and then you'll get why all that time banging out stuff that sucked was worth it: because it's made you a writer who doesn't suck anymore.

So don't worry that your writing sucks right now. "Suck" is a correctible phenomenon.

3. You Need to Write Every Day.

I'm sure you've got this wired, and I'll note that for teenagers today, it's easier to write every day, because there's an entire social structure revolving around writing that didn't used to exist: Blogs and blog-like things like MySpace, or whatever thing has replaced MySpace by the time you read this. Writing isn't the isolating experience it (mostly) was before.

Now, be aware that writing in your blog or journal isn't the same as writing stories or songs or whatever your writing aspirations might be. Blogging very often takes the form of what writers call "cat vacuuming," which is to say it's an activity you do to avoid actual writing. You want to avoid doing too much of that (yes, there's some irony in me writing this in a blog entry -- particularly a blog entry being written when I could be writing part of a book I have due to a publisher).

"Cat vacuuming" though writing in a blog may be, any sort of daily writing will help build the mental muscle memory of sitting down to put your thoughts into words, and that's not a bad thing. So write something today. Now is good.

4. I'm Not Going to Tell You to Get Good Grades, But, You Know, Try To Pay Attention.

High school is often asinine and lame -- I'm not telling you anything you don't know here -- but on the other hand it's a place where you're actually encouraged to do two things that are a writer's bread and butter: to observe and to comment. Provided your teachers are not entirely defeated drones who have bought into the idea that their sole purpose is to detain you in soul-numbing classes so you and your fellow students won't set fire to the school with them in it, they will actually be pleased if you ask a few pointed questions now and then, and as a result, you might learn something, which is always a nice bonus for your day. School is a resource; use it.

(Also, for the love of all that is holy, please please please pay attention in your English composition class. You should know English language grammar for roughly the same reason you should know road rules before you go driving: It avoids nasty pile-ups later.)

Being writers, I don't need to tell you that observing your fellow students is also hours and hours of fun, but don't just look for the purposes of wry mockery. Any jerk can do that. Work on your empathy -- try to understand why people are the way they are. This will achieve two things. One, it's a good exercise for you to help you one day create characters in your writing who are not merely slightly warped versions of you. Two, it'll make you realize there's more to life than wry mockery.

5. Read Everything You Can Get Your Hands On -- Even the Crap That Bores You.

And here's why the crap that bores you is worth reading: Because someone sold it, which means the writer did something right. Your job is to figure out what it was and what that means for your own writing. It should also give you hope: If this bad writer can sell a book or magazine article, then you should have no problem, right? Excellent.

This suggestion is actually more difficult to follow than you might think. People like to read what they like, and don't like to read what they don't like. That's fine if all you want to be is a reader, but if you want to be a writer, you don't have the luxury of just sticking to the stuff that merely entertains you. Writing that's not working for you is still working for someone; take a look and see if you can find out why. Alternately, pinpoint why it doesn't work. Fact is, you can learn as much from writers you don't like as you can from writers you do -- and possibly more, because you're not cutting them slack, like you would your favorite writers.

A corollary to this is: Read writers who are new to you. Don't just stick to the few writers you know you like. Take a few chances. You don't have to spend money to do this: Most towns have this wonderful thing called a library. We're talking free reading here, and the publishing industry won't crack down on you for it. Heck, we like it when you visit the library.

6. You Should Do Something Else With Your Life Than Just Write.

There are practical and philosophical reasons for this. The practical reason: Dude, writers make almost nothing most of the time. Chances are, you're going to have a day job to support your writing habit, at least at first. So you want to be able to get a day job that doesn't involve asking people if they want fries with that. Just something to keep in mind.

The philosophical reason: the writer who only writes isn't actually experiencing much of life; his or her writing is going to feel inauthentic because it won't reflect reality. You want to get actual life experience outside of being a writer, otherwise your first novel will be like every other first novel out there, which revolves around a young writer trying to figure out his life, and then sitting down to write about it. People who write books where the main character is a young, questioning writer should be shot out of a cannon into a pit filled with leeches. Don't make us do that to you.

"Doing something else with your life," incidentally, also includes your college major. There are people who would advise you to be English majors and then go after an MFA, but I'm not one of them (I'm a philosophy major myself -- useless but interesting). The more things you know about, the more you're able to incorporate your wide range of knowledge into your work, which means you'll be at a competitive advantage to other writers (this will matter). You might worry that all those English majors and MFAs are learning something you really need to know, but you know what? As long as you're writing (and reading) regularly and seriously, you'll be fine. Writing is a practical skill as much as or even more than it is an area of study.

Now, I'm sure many of those English majors and MFAs might disagree with me, but I've got ten books and fifteen years of being a professional writer backing me up, so I feel pretty comfortable with my position on this.

7. Try to Learn a Little About the Publishing Industry.

If you're going to be a writer for a living (or, if not for a living, at least to make a little money here or there), you're going to have to sell your work, and if you're going to sell your work, you should learn a little how the business of writing works. The more you know how the publishing industry works, the more you'll realize how and why particular books sell and others don't, and also what you need to do to sell your work to the right people.

This is not to say that at this point you should let this information guide you in what you write -- at this point you should write what interests you, not what you think is going to make you money one day, if for no other reason that the publishing industry, like any industry, has its fads and trends. What's going on now isn't going to be what's going on when you're ready to publish. But there's nothing wrong about knowing a little bit about the business fundamentals of the industry, if you can stomach them.

If you think you're going to write in a specific genre (science fiction or mystery or whatever) why not learn a little about that field, too? A good place to start is by checking out author blogs, because authors are always blathering on about crap like that. Trust me. Also (quite obviously), authors are prone to offer unsolicited advice to new writers on their sites, because it makes us feel all mature and established to bloviate on the subject. And sometimes our advice is even useful.

There's no reason to be obsessive about acquiring knowledge of the industry at this early age, but it doesn't hurt to know; it'll be one less thing you have to ramp up on when you're ready to start putting stuff out there. Which reminds me:

8. Be Ready For Rejection.

It's very likely the the first few years that you submit material to publishers and editors, or query them for articles, your work and queries are going to come back to you unbought. Why? Because that's just how it is. I'll give you an example: Recently I edited a science fiction magazine. For the issue of the magazine I edited, I had between 400 and 500 submissions. From those, there were about 40 I thought were good enough to buy. And of those, I bought 18. That's a 95.5% rejection rate, and an over 50% rejection rate of stuff I wanted to buy, but couldn't because I didn't have the space (or the money, because I had a budget, too). Now, as it happens, for this magazine I also managed to give first sales to four writers because I wanted to make a point of finding new writers -- but I imagine if you asked them how long they'd been submitting work before that sale, you'd find most of them had been doing it for a while.

There are things to know about rejection, the first of which is that it's not about you, it's about the work. The second is that there are any number of reasons why something gets rejected, not all of them having to do with the piece being bad -- remember that I rejected a bunch of pieces I wanted to buy but couldn't. The third is that just because a piece was rejected one place doesn't mean it won't get accepted somewhere else. I know that at least a couple of pieces that I rejected have since been bought at other places.

Rejection sucks, and there's no way to get around that fact. But if you're smart, when you start submitting you'll consider pieces that are rejected simply as ready to go on to the next place. Keep writing and submitting.

(Which brings up the question: If you have pieces now that you want to submit, should you? Well, I'm sure submissions editors everywhere will hate me for saying this, but, sure, why not? If nothing else it'll get you used to the rejection process, and there's always a chance that if it is good, someone might buy it. But, on behalf of the submissions editors, I implore you not to submit unless you really think the work in question is the best you can do.)

9. Start Getting Published Now -- Yes, That Means the School Newspaper.

I know, I know. But, look, you're going to have to deal with editors sooner or later. And you know how many editors in the real world were editors of their school newspapers? A whole lot of them. Lots of writers were, too (I was editor-in-chief of both my high school and college newspaper, so that makes me a two-time loser). Basically, as a writer you'll never be rid of these guys, so you might as well learn how they work. But also, and to be blunt, school newspapers may be piddly, but they give you clips -- examples of your writing you can show to others. You can take those clips to your tiny local newspaper and maybe get a few small writing assignments there -- and then you're professionally published. And then you can take those and use them to get more serious gigs over time, and just keep trading up.

You can also also use those high school clips to help you get on your college paper, and when you're in college, working at the college newspaper can be very useful. I used my college newspaper clips to freelance with the local indie papers in town and also with one of the major metropolitan newspapers... and those clips help me get my first job out of college, as a movie critic at a pretty large newspaper. And all of that started doing little articles for my high school newspaper, the Blue & Gold.

What does this teach us? First, that it can be worth it to deal with the high school newspaper editor, even if he or she is an insufferable dweeb, and second, that all the writing you do can matter, and help you to continue on your writing career.

10. Work on Your Zen.

Being a writer isn't easy; it's a lot of mental effort for often not a lot of financial reward. It takes a lot of time to get good at it -- and even when you are good at it, you'll find there's still more you have to learn, and things you have to deal with, in order to keep going in the field. It takes a measure of patience and serenity to keep from completely losing it much of the time, and, alas, "patience" and "serenity" are two things teenagers are not known to have in great quantities (to be fair, adults aren't much better with this). Despite that, you'll find as a writer that there is a great advantage in keeping your head, being smart and being practical, even when everyone around you is entirely losing their minds. It helps you see things others don't, which is an advantage in your writing, and also in the workaday aspect of being a writer.

So: Relax. Spend your time learning, observing, writing, and preparing. Don't worry about writing the Great American Novel by age 25; don't worry about being the Greatest Writer Ever; don't worry about winning the Pulitzer. Focus on your writing and getting better at it. As they say, luck favors the prepared. When the moment comes, if your skills are there, you'll be ready to take advantage of it and to become the writer you've been hoping you would be. Your job now is to get yourself ready for the moment.

You've got the time to do it. Take it.

Posted by john at April 27, 2006 04:02 PM

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Comments

Alex S. | April 27, 2006 04:55 PM

Seems as though something's missing in this phrase: "their sole purpose is solely to you in one-hour time blocks" back in point four.

But other than that one nit, nice article.

John Scalzi | April 27, 2006 04:58 PM

I fixed it even as you were commenting. I often post and then go through with corrections.

Jas | April 27, 2006 05:19 PM

Now, of course, for the sixty-four dollar question: do you know whether or not any sizable portion of your readership are, in fact, teenagers?

I mean, this is all great stuff, if they take the time to read it, but will they even know it's here?

John Scalzi | April 27, 2006 05:26 PM

Jas:

"I mean, this is all great stuff, if they take the time to read it, but will they even know it's here?"

In my experience the writing stuff gets around.

claire | April 27, 2006 05:42 PM

"Doing something else with your life," incidentally, also includes your college major. There are people who would advise you to be English majors and then go after an MFA, but I'm not one of them (I'm a philosophy major myself -- useless but interesting). The more things you know about, the more you're able to incorporate your wide range of knowledge into your work, which means you'll be at a competitive advantage to other writers (this will matter). You might worry that all those English majors and MFAs are learning something you really need to know, but you know what? As long as you're writing (and reading) regularly and seriously, you'll be fine. Writing is a practical skill as much as or even more than it is an area of study.
Now, I'm sure many of those English majors and MFAs might disagree with me,

not me. i majored in creative writing as an undergrad and i just got my mfa a few months ago. and you are absolutely, 110% correct. do ANYTHING before you study creative writing as an undergrad. you can minor in it, or take cw classes for your electives if you want, but study something OF SUBSTANCE.

and the mfa? DO NOT GO AND DO IT RIGHT AFTER YOU GRADUATE. seriously. recent college grads are inexperienced kids with nothing to write and no voice -- or at least, all the ones in my mfa program were, and the dropout rate among them was astonishing.

wait at least 5 years, actually, no, wait AT LEAST ten years after graduating before getting your mfa. make sure you visit four continents, get food poisoning from street food, work five different (types of) jobs, fall madly in love and get your heart broken, have your own pet (not a family pet) and your own vehicle (not one your folks bought for you) and your own apartment (not shared) at least once, become close friends with and have at least one huge fight with someone who is completely unlike you culturally and race and class-wise, and make SURE that you change your opinion on at least one major issue --- BEFORE you go back to get your mfa.

seriously. i'm glad i did.

erin | April 27, 2006 06:07 PM

I agree with Claire about waiting and/or choosing another path...most MFAs I know would, also.

But, I can honestly say I would have been a lot less motivated in my other college classes if I didn't have terrific writing teachers.

Something I'd add to John's list, if it were mine: Treasure good mentors, if you're lucky enough to have them. They won't be around forever.

Rhiannon_S | April 27, 2006 06:18 PM

good advice for those of us who aren't teenagers too.

Chris S. | April 27, 2006 06:42 PM

You are my hero.

jaye | April 27, 2006 07:24 PM

(I was editor-in-chief of both my high school and college newspaper, so that makes me a two-time loser).

Me too.

JonathanMoeller | April 27, 2006 07:30 PM

"On the TV, a young woman jiggled into the camera."

Young and flexible, indeed.

Graduate school sucks. For a year and a half I killed time, wishing I were out in the real grown-up world doing real grown-up things, while I sat at a table with a half-dozen unemployed people, most of whom had not bathed to show their solidarity with the proletariat, listening to them drone on about an obscure book badly translated from French with a title like "Postmodern Structrual Destructuralism: A Structural Postmodernist Deconstruction".

Gaaaaaah.

So if my 25 year-old self could speak to my 15 year-old self, I would say "Self, I suggest you learn to do something practical, such as plumbing, or UNIX. That way, you can work during the day and write at night. Also, in 2002, your girlfriend, a total Star Wars fanatic, will ask what you thought of 'Attack of the Clones', claiming that she won't get upset if you share your honest opinion. Do NOT believe her."

alkali | April 27, 2006 07:31 PM

I once read part of a book called something like "The Flower Of Genius" which was a collection of juvenalia by major writers. I had to stop reading it because it was so awful. Now keep in mind that this wasn't the juvenalia of one major writer, but a selection of the best juvenalia of many, many major writers. I shudder to think what was not included.

The only thing I can recall really liking by a teenaged writer is "The Neon Bible," a short novel that John Kennedy Toole -- author of "A Confederacy Of Dunces" -- wrote when he was 16.

I think Mary Shelley wrote "Frankenstein" in her late teens or very early 20s, so maybe that's another.

John Scalzi | April 27, 2006 07:36 PM

Jaye:

"Me too."

Odldly, you also apparently have the same birthday as I do as well. Who knows what else we have in common?

Anonymous | April 27, 2006 08:07 PM

I was going to raise my hand for the how-many-teenage-writers-are-going-to-read-this count in Jas's comment, but then remembered that I have now hit the ripe age of 20 and *clearly* am far past this advice.

Heh.

Good advice -- I'm reading, bookmarking, taking to heart.

Aili S. | April 27, 2006 08:38 PM

I'm a teen, I'm a writer (of sorts), I have a blog, I saw and read this list here at Whatever. Check, check, check, check. Entertaining read, as well as useful. You even reminded me to renew my library books online!

And if you think looking back as an adult on the crap you wrote as a teen is fun, try looking back as a teen on the crap you wrote in elementary school. Trust me, it's hilarious.

clvrmnky | April 27, 2006 09:16 PM

Wait. Did you say /Journey/?

Wow. I'm old.

Clearmoon | April 27, 2006 10:00 PM

Wish I'd read this when I was in high school. (Wish there had been an internet then, too!)

As a writer who makes a significant living writing nonfiction articles, blog entries, etc., do you think that your path outlined above (stepping stones from the local rag on up to a big metro paper) is a viable path for the still-aspiring adult writer?

John Scalzi | April 27, 2006 10:04 PM

Yes, if you're talking about freelancing. It's rather more difficult to get a staff position if you're an adult, just starting out.

Ann | April 27, 2006 10:08 PM

Bang on, I'd say, and yeah, the writing stuff tends to get around. I'll see about a jillion links to this on my friends list when I wake up in the morning, I imagine, and it'll spread through the writing blogs like...well, all the similes I'm coming up with are diseases right now.

And dude, nobody is ever going to read the crap I wrote in high school. I don't (mostly) write crap anymore. At least, I sold you a story! So that says something, anyway.

John Scalzi | April 27, 2006 10:10 PM

Ann:

"it'll spread through the writing blogs like...well, all the similes I'm coming up with are diseases right now."

It'll spread like scabies!

Yeah, that's not such a great metaphor, I think.

Ann | April 27, 2006 10:35 PM

The first one off my fingers was "like pinkeye at a toddler playdate!" And then I was stuck in that rut.

I'd rather have pinkeye than scabies...

David Louis Edelman | April 27, 2006 11:32 PM

As soon as they work out the kinks on them time machines, John, I'm copying this piece onto a 5 1/4-inch floppy disk and sending it back to my 18-year-old self. Priceless, just priceless.

Wonder how Christopher Paolini would react to this. Wasn't he 15 when he wrote Eragon?

Cassie | April 27, 2006 11:55 PM

I'll give this to my teenage son, that's how the teenagers will get it.

I think I'll save it for the 11 year old, though.

Tim Walters | April 28, 2006 12:28 AM

Samuel R. Delany, The Jewels Of Aptor, age 19 IIRC. Nowhere near as good as he later got, but highly enjoyable apart from the occasional clank.

Martin Wagner | April 28, 2006 01:51 AM

Nice one.

Christopher Paolini did a competent job crafting a readable adventure � no doubt with much help from dutiful editors � in his first book. But the phrase "besotted by your influences" applies like you wouldn't believe.

I understand that his success has produced an ego the size of Gondor. Based on that and his bank balance, I imagine he'd react to this with indifference.

Peter | April 28, 2006 03:37 AM

I'm 19, so technically just young enough for this to apply. I feel kind of glad knowing that I'm already on the right path (ie doing a bunch of things that you recommend, John, in particular #4 and #6-#9)!

I also know what you mean by too closely hewing to one's inspirations -- I deliberately aped a bunch of Zelazny phrasings in the last story that I wrote, plus the various things that inspired the plot/protagonist/themes/etc. (That said, I hope I created something more than the sum of the parts!)

David Goldfarb | April 28, 2006 04:22 AM

Out of curiosity, where did you pick up the phrase "cat vacuuming"? As far as I know it originated on the Usenet group rec.arts.sf.composition (not from whole cloth, to be sure) and as far as I know you don't read the group. So you must have heard it from someone who does (or someone who heard it from someone who does or....)

Durf | April 28, 2006 04:25 AM

I wish someone had written this and showed it to Paolini before he did his teenage writing. Or at least to the folks who saw fit to publish his stuff.

John Scalzi | April 28, 2006 05:00 AM

Tim Walters:

"Samuel R. Delany, The Jewels Of Aptor, age 19 IIRC. Nowhere near as good as he later got, but highly enjoyable apart from the occasional clank."

I'm comfortable classifying Delany as a freak of nature (in the best sense, of course).

Durf:

"I wish someone had written this and showed it to Paolini before he did his teenage writing."

Let's not take it out on Paolini that someone decided to give him a lot of money at a young age. The act has significance for him and his writing, for better or worse, but if you (speaking generically) had written a novel when you were fifteen and someone offered you a half million dollars for it, you'd take it, too, and then think pretty well of yourself afterward.

uhura | April 28, 2006 05:44 AM

I've kept pretty much everything I've ever wrote, and recently while cleaning out a closet I came across my poetry journal from 7th-9th grade.

Of course at the time I thought that I was a brilliant literary mind on the cusp of greatness. In reality? Comedy GOLD, people.

It's SO HORRIBLE. I'm laughing as I type this. I can't believe I proudly showed it to people. Repeatedly. A poem of mine was "published" in some vanity publication, and I bought a framed copy for my wall. I don't have to tell you that it's pretty bad. I was maybe 13, writing about the pain of romantic love using weather as a metaphor. Wind, most notably.

I can totally hear you guys laughing - as you rightly should be.

Scott M. | April 28, 2006 07:07 AM

I've reached the grand old age of 29. Every time I get hung up on how bad my writing seems to be, I go into my dresser, or my trunk (yes, there are writers out there who really do keep stuff in a trunk), and pull out something I wrote in high school.

Some of it makes me wince so hard I pull half the muscles in my face. The rest makes me laugh so hard I start crying.

I may not be a very good writer now, but at least it's comforting to note how much worse I was ten years ago.

Ed | April 28, 2006 07:12 AM

I was about to make a comment about an incident where I wrote some songs which, after a trip to the pub, I then played and sang for my then partner's friend who was visiting us at the time. The upshot was that the friend never visited us again.

Then I realised that I was aged 23 when I did that. I guess some things don't always get better with time......

Brandon | April 28, 2006 08:17 AM

I bet whoever decided that vacuuming a cat was a better idea than writing quickly got over that notion once they retrieved the various parts of their face from all over the domicile. Although, I think the only thing funnier than someone with a laptop at a coffee shop pretending to write would be if the same person let out a sigh of exasperation, closed the laptop and then took out a cat and a dustbuster.

John Scalzi | April 28, 2006 08:28 AM

Actually, here's the Internet's own claire light, a fine writer, vacuuming a cat. And surviving!

claire, you need to put that on YouTube or something.

Cassie | April 28, 2006 09:27 AM

John, do you vacuum your cat?

John Scalzi | April 28, 2006 09:36 AM

That's between me and the cat, don't you think?

AliceB | April 28, 2006 10:18 AM

Just sent this to my favorite teenager. Thanks for posting it!

Dan | April 28, 2006 10:20 AM

I wish someone had given me advice like this some fifteen years ago, when I wanted to write but lacked the confidence. I could have had some very productive years between then and now. (I won't go into the advice I got instead, which would make this post sound too much like a whine.)

Great article. I'm glad I discovered your site (even if it was because of the whole Lori Jareo thing).

Tom Scudder | April 28, 2006 10:24 AM

Peter Beagle wrote A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE at 19. Not too shabby.

Christopher Willard | April 28, 2006 11:06 AM

Also write every day, don't be afraid to take chances and do the weird, be merciless in cutting the cliche phrases. Read widely. Get other people to look at your work but also understand they approach it with a particular bias. Finally have fun.

(author of Garbage Head)

Crank | April 28, 2006 11:11 AM

One might also add: don't steal stuff. Better to wait until you're ready to write it yourself. There's plenty of time.

Very good point about influences. The older you get, the more influences you have, so at least their footprints aren't as obvious.

Crank | April 28, 2006 11:17 AM

I'd also add, at least for non-fiction writers, that I personally make a point at least once a year to re-read George Orwell's essay "Politics and the English Language."

Cassie | April 28, 2006 11:29 AM

So cat vacuuming is some sort of private ritual and we were watching it on the net? Does that make it some kind of cat pr0n?

Oh great. Do I have to go to confession now for watching it???!!??

John Scalzi | April 28, 2006 11:52 AM

That's between you and your God, Cassie.

Tom Scudder | April 28, 2006 12:19 PM

On the other hand, the novel Karl Marx wrote as a 19-year-old is pretty dire.

David Thayer | April 28, 2006 12:23 PM

Well said, John, and well timed.

Annie G | April 28, 2006 12:48 PM

I am secretly dreaming of becoming a writer. I think the same advice can apply for me and I am 42.

Meryl Yourish | April 28, 2006 12:50 PM

If you ask me, these words of advice are just as good for older writers. Well, most of 'em. The part about not being a wiseguy in class?

Didn't take.

Jake | April 28, 2006 12:51 PM

Fantastic entry, forwarding it on to teenage aspirants I know.

Ron Hardin | April 28, 2006 12:54 PM

You are not likely to have my influences, but you almost certainly have influences of some sort, who you love and to whom you look as models and teachers.

In English, ``who'' has replaced ``whom'' in objective case, but there remains a formal/informal register clash rule : ``to whom'' is required.

The reason is that fronting the preposition is formal register, and then using ``who'' for ``whom'' is forbidden as informal register.

The interesting thing is that the two rules close together clash. What about

``You are not likely to have my influences, but you almost certainly have influences of some sort, who you love and who you look to as models and teachers.''

eliminating the fronting for the preposition

Thurston Howell V | April 28, 2006 12:54 PM

The cat in the hand basin is beautifully groomed, to be sure.

Quadraginta | April 28, 2006 01:12 PM

Hmm, a pretty interesting article, mostly for the general tone (the specifics [(1) write a lot, (2) stay in school, (3) don't despair] seem pretty vanilla). I will pass this link on to my 13-year-old, who has dreams of writing fantasy fiction.

I would add one tiny wrinkle from my own experience: be true to your own voice, however your betters (or "betters") might advise you. When I was in college I minored in writing (majored in chemistry, so I have an actual high-paying job now). I wrote tons of short stories, but my instructor harshly criticized them. In part this discouraged me from ever trying to publish a story.

About 20 years later, I happened to unearth the stories in my garage while moving, and read them through. With the perspective of middle-age, I realized that, in fact, they were pretty good. I should have sent one or two off, just to see what happened. What I also realized, again with the understanding of people derived from another two decades of living, is that my instructor just didn't like me or my style. She was a refugee from post-war Eastern Europe, and she thought anything that didn't take place in a concentration camp, or involve post-nuclear-holocaust cannibalism, or incestuous gang rape, or some gut-wrenching fearsome existential catastrophe, was just a waste of time.

I didn't want to write about that stuff. I just wanted to write about small stuff, slices of life, so to speak, capture and convey a feeling most of us had had (which rules out trying to convey the moment of panic when you realize the stuff coming out of the "shower" heads is not water).

Alas, being young, I thought she knew great writing better than I, and I was just boring and picayune. Having read many great novels since revolving around ordinary life (Connell's two "Bridge" novels jump to mind), I can now say this is nonsense. Indeed, big theme writing can be tiring and tiresome when you just want a nice bit of story to contemplate before bed. (Not to mention being grotesquely prententious when a 20-year-old author lectures his 45-year-old audience about The Meaning Of Life.)

So, my small additional advice is, stay true to what you want to write about. It can be anything, even "boring" and "mundane" stuff. Just try to write about it well -- you can write about "ordinary" stuff in extraordinary and fascinating ways -- and try to write in a way that really connects to people, puts into words feelings they have, makes them think "Yeah! That's how it felt/feels/would feel, if I could only have found the words." Then it will succeed. Or at least, I'd say it has as much chance as the grand sweep of history stuff to succeed.

John Scalzi | April 28, 2006 01:15 PM

Ron Hardin:

"The interesting thing is that the two rules close together clash."

Eh. I like it just fine, which is why I wrote it that way.

Meryl Yourish:

"The part about not being a wiseguy in class? Didn't take."

It never does.

I don't have problems with people being wiseguys, mind you. They should just make sure it's not the only tool in the toolbox, is all.

Quadraginta:

Indeed. In the one Creative Writing class I took in college, my professor told us we couldn't write science fiction, because he didn't think it was "Real" writing. Needless to say, I sent him a copy of Old Man's War when it came out. Ha! Ha! I say!

brett | April 28, 2006 01:17 PM

I read this with great interest as a copywriter and sometime-screenwriter. I could almost imagine it as a lecture given to a high school English class. Which makes me think you penned/typed it to impart pearls of wisdom. Underlying that is the everpresent human need to pass down knowledge and the artist's desire to stay relevant beyond his/her mortality to future generations. No value judgments here, just observations. Though I do think you've provided the equivalent of a valuable public service to young writers--and college students. One of my profs said the ability to write professionally is an underrated and overlooked skill that can lead to gainful employment.

You're exactly right about "your Zen." I made so many of those write-a-novel-by-age __ goals that I set myself up for failure. Kids need to remove the mile markers and concentrate on the journey.

Thief | April 28, 2006 01:30 PM

May I add, as a disenchanted sometime teenage writer, that poetry by teenagers is the epitome of "cat vacuuming?" (Mine was horrible, looking back.) Stay away from it, and focus on short stories or essays.

Dan | April 28, 2006 01:37 PM

Aw, come on... writing bad teenage poetry is like a rite of passage! Just, you know, in moderation... and preferably left out of the public aye altogether...

otherdeb | April 28, 2006 01:39 PM

Man, I wish someone had said all this to me when I was a teenager who wanted to be a writer. Thank you for saying it now, while I'm still (in my mid 50's) young enough to hear it!

John Scalzi | April 28, 2006 01:40 PM

Thief:

Yeah, I'm with Dan on this one -- teenage poetry is something you just gotta go through. And, also, of course, real poets gotta start somewhere.

Harry Connolly | April 28, 2006 02:37 PM

Great advice here, especially about getting a regular job, especially a job where you write for a living. Nothing makes a good writer quite like actually doing it.

Me, I didn't pursue work in journalism because I "didn't want to write that stuff." Big mistake.

My only addition to this list: Learn to touch type.

Rachel | April 28, 2006 02:38 PM

I'm trying to work out whether I can feed this to my college students next year... I think the answer is "no." Because, you know, even the freshman aren't high school students anymore and I think they'd be particularly offended at the implication they should be compared to them.

Oh, and BTW, getting an English degree and an MFA & learning about life aren't mutually exclusive. That's what double majors are for. (granted, this only works if you think learning anything at college counts as learning about life)

TallDave | April 28, 2006 02:45 PM

Good advice, should be in a writing workshop.

TallDave | April 28, 2006 02:49 PM

Oh, and I have to agree, bad teenage poetry is practically inevitable for any kind of future writer.

Plus, sometimes it gets you some action with that hot also-teenage girl you wrote it about, who doesn't have any idea how bad it is and with whom you would otherwise have had zero chance. Ahhh, memories.

Anne C. | April 28, 2006 03:19 PM

When I was in the tenth grade, I wrote a "book" with a friend. We would trade off the story every 3 or 4 pages or so. The framework was a typical romance-adventure. Being slightly competative friends, it devolved into a writing competition. I didn't like her male lead, so I wrote my own and they proceeded to compete for the affection of the female lead. I think I won, since mine ended up with the girl and we had to write a consolation prize girl for the other guy. I still go back to it every once in a while for a laugh and a cringe.
The nice thing about that was that when we showed our English teacher, she told me that I should pursue writing. It was the first real encouragement I can remember and the first time I ever considered writing as a profession. The fact that she could encourage me based on that cliche-filled piece of dreck makes me admire that teacher all the more. Truely treasure your mentors.

As usual, thanks for bestowing your wisdom upon us, oh great and powerful Scalzi.

Will Curtis | April 28, 2006 03:28 PM

regarding a college major: most of my favorite authors have technical degress. Now, I'm probably biased in some way since I studied electrical engineering (just remember in every geek there's a double E), but it'd be nice if more sci-fi writers know more than a smattering of elementary math and physics.

Stephen | April 28, 2006 03:39 PM

(Also, for the love of all that is holy, please please please pay attention in your English composition class.

The first assignment for any aspiring writer should be to write the above sentence on the whiteboard a hundred times. It never ceases to amaze me, whether I'm reading IM's, message board or blog posts, or crafted online articles, how many people don't know basic english grammar.

One problem is that schools don't TEACH english grammar any more. I was lucky to go to a private school with separate grammar and literature classes all through middle school. We spent a full semester on nothing but the eight parts of speech. Back then, I could diagram a sentence with half my brain tied behind my back. And even though I couldn't do that now, I can still pick phrases out of a sentence and know what subject needs to agree with what verb. Another pet peeve of mine: people who don't know the difference between "there," "their," and "they're." The odd typo in an IM or blog is one thing, but even in those settings, it's hard to take someone seriously when their writing makes it obvious that they don't know the proper word.

A lot of writers (especially young ones) seem to think that the ideas they express render proper grammar less important. First of all, proper grammar is a tool that allows you to more clearly express those ideas. Secondly, how you write says a lot about you, and whether you think it's fair or not, people will judge the worthiness of your ideas in part on how you write. If you write like an uneducated buffoon, then people will assume that your ideas are those of an uneducated buffoon.

Edward Willett | April 28, 2006 04:06 PM

Great post, John. It so happens I'm teaching the Sage Hill Teen Writing Experience this summer in Regina, Saskatchewan--it's a week-long writing camp. May I make copies to distribute to my teen wannabees?

Dan P. | April 28, 2006 04:11 PM

I'll claim no expertise as a writer,
since I'm a retired mechanical engineer.

However, my son makes a living writing cartoon stories. Sometimes free-lance, sometimes "employed".

He set the goal of being a film cartoonist in the third grade. He was a TERRIBLE student. He went direct from high school to Hollywood, and was an "instant" eight year success.

He quickly shifted from drawing and writing to writing. The joke IS the cartoon, not the drawing. And, lately, sometimes story editing. Cartoon editors ARE the cliche of riding herd on "writer cats". Being an editor does give your story line a bit more consideration during the infighting.

And, best of all, he keeps a framed oil painting he did of our family. Mother, father, brother, sister. Done when he was in the sixth grade, with our 1970's hair and THE clothes. And, his painting technique is TERRIBLE. It's horribly hilarious in every way. And, it's always prominently displayed on his office wall.

He says it keeps him "grounded".

John Scalzi | April 28, 2006 04:12 PM

By all means, Edward.

Elena | April 28, 2006 05:22 PM

*shudders* Please don't encourage teenage poets. I don't care if listening to that trash is a rite of passage for them, I'm the girl who has got to listen to the love-sick dreck, and I don't want to.

Theo | April 28, 2006 05:31 PM

Obvious points to young writers made in tediously long-winded fashion. Didn't you learn in your 36 years to avoid filler words? I hope this isn't representative of your writing.

Good point about reading crap that sold. I'll look for your books at the library.

Robert | April 28, 2006 05:31 PM

This reminded me of something my eldest brother (now a college teacher of English) said to me years ago, apropos of child prodigies - "You know why none of them are prodigies in the humanities? Because you have to be _human_ to excel in the humanities, and that takes time. Years. Some people, it takes more years than they've got to live."
Cynical? Maybe. Realistic? You bet.

On a more personal note, many years ago (as I was cleaning up preparatory to going away to college) I discovered a bit of juvenilia I'd done shortly after being given my first electric typewriter. It was a comic Edgar Allan Poe pastiche, if you can imagine such a thing, and went beyond dreadful into some strange alternate universe. No plot, no characterization, no beginning or end, just words arranged in a particular order.

Chris | April 28, 2006 06:53 PM

>[Is this a valid path for adult writers too?]

>"Yes, if you're talking about freelancing. It's >rather more difficult to get a staff position if >you're an adult, just starting out."

Interesting. Why do you think that is?

John Scalzi | April 28, 2006 07:09 PM

Older people cost more.

Jeff VanderMeer | April 28, 2006 07:21 PM

Great advice, John.

I'd echo that you need to steel yourself for the possibility of years of rejection and hardship.

Also, in college, I remember someone quoting Richard Wilbur, the Poet Laureate, that "You should major in anything other than writing. And take classes on as many different subjects as possible." It's all research.

The thing about something like Beagle writing A Fine and Private Place at 19--you can write a masterpiece that young, but you won't really know how you did it, and you probably won't be able to replicate it until much later.

JeffV

Gabriele | April 28, 2006 07:47 PM

"Postmodern Structural Destructuralism: A Structural Postmodernist Deconstruction"

Geez, is that sucker still around? I thought they'd have invented some new theories by now.

But if you want to have some real good fun, try Kristeva's book about Intertextuality. ;)

David Klecha | April 28, 2006 07:53 PM

My dear wife officially thinks you are cool, based entirely on your owning the complete works of Journey. But she's a bit Neal Schon-biased that way. (Thank God he's married, that's all I'm saying.)

But hey, you're in good company. There's also that Ryan kid from The OC and JD from Scrubs.

Emily | April 28, 2006 08:26 PM

I'm a teenade writer (and poet). And I completely and utterly suck. Thank you SO much. My mom's a writer too, and I read the stuff she wrote, and I wonder how she got like that. Even though she's told me most of this stuff before, it's good to hear it from someone who is not your mother. I'm going to share this with a friend, who also writes (better than I do) who is bummed because she wants to be as good as a "...real writer, not just 'good for a teenager'"

Eric | April 28, 2006 08:27 PM

As a teen writer I appreciate the advice. I've noticed several of the things mentioned in my own writing, particularly experience, and my lack of it. Many times when writing I've had to stop because I honestly didn't know how to portray the scene realistically and meaningful.

I think that this links strongly with the comments on choosing a major. I would like nothing more than to be a professional writer, but I don't know if my writing is ever going to be anywhere near publishable quality. It would be nice if I could do it, but I'm not counting on it. I'm going to be starting college next year and am planning to major in Political Science of Economics, or maybe both if I'm feeling suicidal. I'm hoping to concetrate some time on creative writing, and I should be able to with the college's unusual structure, but I'm definatly not going to major in it. I think that the things I will learn elsewhere will be more valuable than more English classes in sparking ideas.

A suggestion to all aspiring high school writers: take the most advanced courses you can. I know I'm hardly speaking from a position of authority on this, but it has really helped me. I've learned more in my advanced English and Government classes than the rest of my classes combined. Partially because the material is so much more interesting and complex, but also because the other students are intelligent and motivated. Believe me, it's contagious. The group discussions that range across a astounding array of topics fosters more knowledge aquisition and true understanding than any number of standard classes where you can pretty much read the chapter and ace the test.

Incidently, I found the link to this on the Black Library forums, so a lot of young writers will probably find this through that link.

Thanks.

Gabe | April 28, 2006 10:04 PM

You have many good ideas, and I thank you for sharing them. I am a teen writer myself, and I find it very helpful, and agree on several points, especially that of treasuring your mentors. I have always been closer to my teachers than fellow students, and have found that both helpful in the social aspects of high school and in my writing. The good ones, at least, are willing to take a break from grading papers and looking over your work, and that both helps prod your writing along and helps you to deal with critism.

Ah, the humbling words of the first point. My pride whines prefusely at that, but as I can look back at the work I did even just a year ago and cringe, I must agree.

Please do not feel you need to apologize for being brash, as I know at least one of my friends has been endeared to you specifically because of the snark.

Chris | April 28, 2006 11:25 PM

>Older people cost more.

If only. Still, point taken.

David Baker | April 29, 2006 12:20 AM

I'll never forget the first time I heard this little pearl of blue-collar wisdom; "Different strokes for different folks."

It was 1968, I was standing on the unloading dock of a New Haven sausage maker, delivering pork butts butchered in the South Bronx. The receiver, big, unshaven, and wearing a long, blood-splattered white coat - was recounting some odd-ball, local news story, about a wanna-be axe murderer who once worked at his plant. With a sense of perfect timing as I stacked the last box on the last pallet, he concluded; "Ya know, kid, different strokes for different folks."

I thought about that line all the way back to the Bronx. I even told the gung-ho trooper who pulled me over on Route 95; "Different speeds for different truckers," I said - he let me go with a laughing... warning.

Now, today, I read for the very first time the term "cat vacuuming."

We should get together more often.

jeffus | April 29, 2006 12:53 AM

I was taught in high school expository writing to try writing in great detail about mundane tasks. It's dull but it really cleans up your style and can serve you well if you're writing for technical publications or scientific journals.

Also, try downloading trial depositions and testimony from the public record. You'll discover how people really talk and how, occasionally, entertaining written conversations can be. Everyone has a story and they come out in the funniest ways under oath.

Write at night, read in the morning. You'll often be embarrassed by what you wrote the night before instead of what your wrote 20 years ago.

MikeT | April 29, 2006 12:54 AM

I'm almost 23, just graduated from college four months ago and have been working at writing. It's been slow getting started, but I think I have a solid foundation for a first chapter.

Now, my question is, how hard is it to get published if you are writing in a non-conventional way? The stuff I am writing is religion-inspired science fiction, but would freak out the average Left Behind fan because it bears more resemblance to Babylon 5, Starship Troopers and things like that. Hell, the devil is even portrayed as being like Che Guevara, a radical revolutionary, not the stereotyped horned beast who just makes a ham-handed grab for power.

See, the thing is that as I have written more and more, my blog readers, friends and family have said that it has become very good, but I am worried about what to do with publishing if I can get there. I refuse to read books like Left Behind and prefer to get inspiration from Tolkein, Lewis, Heinlein and you. I have a more recent sample of my ability to create imagery here.

Speaking of which, I just finished the Ghost Brigades a few days ago. It was well worth the nearly $20 I paid for the hard back. Pleaaaaassssse tell me there is going to be a third book.

John Scalzi | April 29, 2006 09:43 AM

Yes, there is. I'm writing it now.

Diane Duane | April 29, 2006 11:18 AM

Hot posting, John. You are filled with wisdom!

Now just hoping the trackback ping works. (I'm new at this...)

Wacky Hermit | April 29, 2006 11:51 AM

MikeT: religious-inspired science fiction? May I suggest that you try to get in touch with Orson Scott Card? He would probably have some of the insight you're looking for.

Tory J. | April 29, 2006 12:33 PM

"And if you think looking back as an adult on the crap you wrote as a teen is fun, try looking back as a teen on the crap you wrote in elementary school. Trust me, it's hilarious."

It is a testament to how quickly even teenage writers improve that I can look back at stuff I wrote when I was thirteen and fourteen (I'm fifteen now) and want to tear the paper up before anyone ever sees it again.

You've now reminded me how disgustingly arrogant I've been in the past, and followed that up by reminding me that that's pretty common, and telling me how to get past it. This post is really great--my Mom sent it to me, and now I'm going to post the link to a forum on the writing website I'm on. Thanks for this.

~Tory~

anandimide | April 29, 2006 12:33 PM

As a nearly-out-of-my-teens writer, I agree and disagree. I agree because a lot of this is true; I disagree because some of it isn't, and, as a whole, it seems to apply to writers in general--not just teen writers. It's just that teen writers are more visible, because the older ones have resigned themselves to failure.

I've seen this formulaic advice over and over again. "Write every day," in particular, I hear everywhere. I don't agree with it. Sometimes writing every day is necessary, and sometimes it's the worst possible thing you can do. Writing is organic--it can't always be constrained to a pattern. Not to best effect, anyway. I think that our attempts to do so--to put writing into a predictable pattern--is an attempt to ignore the fact that we do not and never will understand creativity--that creativity is this enormous, often terrifying, utterly unpredictable thing.

I'm also leery of any attempt to classify teenagers as a single group. I'm coming from a kind of strange place: I've been in writing workshops continuously for six years. (They have, though some divine accident, been uncommonly good ones--for the most part.) I've frequently been referred to as a child prodigy or a genius (designations that, although they plump up my ego a good bit, I don't really buy into). Of course I still lack for experience--I feel this most acutely. But the thing is, writing advice aimed at teenagers often misses me completely--as it does a number of other teenagers I know.

And if you're going to say that teenage writing sucks, well, sure. So does the vast majority of writing that emerges from MFA programs. So does the vast majority of published writing, for that matter. But sometimes, you know, it doesn't suck.

John Scalzi | April 29, 2006 02:17 PM

anandimide:

No, sometimes teenage writing can be perfectly good, and there will always be people who wreck the curve in terms of talent. However, in both cases it is rarer than one might think, and more to the point of the essay, it's rarer than the teenagers involved might think as well.

Teenagers feeling that advice aimed at teenagers doesn't necessarily apply to them is (among other things, including the utter cluelessness of the advice, which happens regrettably often) a result of teenagers both thinking they are special and their resistance to being lumped into any general group. Every teenager wants to be the special case (like every other teenager). I note this without condescension or dismissal, although I realize it doesn't read that way. But you know, I was like that as a teen, and more to the point I think it's entirely healthy, since the way not to become one of a herd is to develop a sense of one's individuality. Besides, a little ego is not a bad thing.

(Teenagers also don't like being told what to do. This never goes away, incidentally.)

I think the advice here is generally useful, otherwise I wouldn't have posted it. Nevertheless, the advice here is offered with no expectation that the teenagers to whom it is directed will consider it holy writ, or believe it all applies to them. That's fine; I don't imagine there's stuff here I thought would apply to me either, were I a teenager reading it. And, indeed, it's entirely possible some it genuinely is not useful for a particular teen and his or her particular writing situation. Take what you think is useful; ignore what you think is not. Find your own way.

I will note that as a teenager I also was called a genius and a prodigy by teachers, friends and fellow writers, and that not all my teenage-era writing was bad. Be that as it may, what I've written here is largely based on my own experience as a teen and after (including, incidentally, the "write every day" advice, as the "writing is organic" theory doesn't fly when one has a 3pm deadline and it's 2:15). I wrote this because what I note here was true for me, and has been true to most of the former teen writers I've known. Take it for what it's worth to you.

Walt Boyes | April 29, 2006 03:29 PM

I'd love your permission to crosspost this article to Baen's Bar in the Baen's Universe Forum and on the Baen's Universe magazine editors' blog. Most of what you said applies to inexperienced writers of any age. I have made my life writing non-fiction, and my fiction is quite creaky, because I don't write enough of it. I've managed to get published as a fiction writer once, which makes me more than a wannabe and less than a fiction pro. But I'm a hellacious good editor, either fiction or non. And my writing is improving as I see the mistakes others make, when I read slush for Jim Baen's Universe.

Walt Boyes
Assoc. Editor/Marketing Director
Jim Baen's Universe

anandimide | April 29, 2006 04:13 PM

Teenagers feeling that advice aimed at teenagers doesn't necessarily apply to them is (among other things, including the utter cluelessness of the advice, which happens regrettably often) a result of teenagers both thinking they are special and their resistance to being lumped into any general group. Every teenager wants to be the special case (like every other teenager).

Agreed. I do believe that certain generalities apply to teenagers as a whole--including the ones you stated above. However, I also believe that this is simply a compression of the tendencies Americans (Westerners?) exhibit. Americans in general think they are special and resist being lumped into any general group. Americans in general want to be the special case (like every other American).

The thing with teenagers is that they (we) exist in a pressurized atmosphere where the American ideals of individuality and uniqueness are shoved at us relentlessly, even as we are propelled through a one-size-fits-all educational system (and a one-size-fits-all set of social expectations, & etc.) that prohibits us from attaining/acquiring the same culturally recognized markers of individuality and uniqueness that adults have. Adults can slake their thirst for individuality by choosing a particular life path--family, career, etc. (This doesn't, of course, apply across all social strata--poor and minority Americans are often not allowed to become full adults, by this society's unwritten specifications for adulthood.) Teenagers, not having had the time or the opportunity to make and carry out the kind of choices that individualize adults, are forced to frantically rely on whatever they can grub up to distinguish themselves from the faceless masses.

Personally, I think our idealization of individuality is hopelessly tangled and misguided, but I won't go into that here.

Perhaps what I really question is whether or not it's useful to define teenagers as teenagers--at least to the extent that we do. If I think of myself as a teenager, I can't take my writing seriously. I assume that it will suck before I even sit down to write it, and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I assume that I don't have the life experience to write about the majority of things I want to write about--and that's true, to a certain degree. But humans do not live so very long, and from some perspectives we will all--up until our graves--be incredibly young and naive and inexperienced and blind. When the next generations read our writing, they will laugh at our blind naivate--our ignorance--and then produce their own works, and the cycle will progress.

So it's not that I don't think this advice is true (although I'm not sure that it goes far enough)--it's that I question the frame in which it is presented. "Teenager" implies a finite state: when you address this to teenagers, you're implying that its relevance plummets once a person reaches the age of twenty. I doubt that you actually believe that--"writing advice for teenagers" is a popular genre of advice, and if you attempted to deconstruct everything before blogging about it, you'd kill yourself (and your blog) with excessive overthinking.

(Incidentally, one of the fun things about being a teenager is the fact that I can choose a radical viewpoint, defend it until I progress beyond it, and then change my mind--and I won't be castigated for it!)

John Scalzi | April 29, 2006 04:41 PM

Anandimide:

"If I think of myself as a teenager, I can't take my writing seriously."

I don't see why this is true. One can be quite serious about one's writing and also recognize one has more work to do to full realize one's potential (indeed, it helps to be serious).

Being a novice at something isn't shameful, nor should those who are novices be treated dismissively, or be lead to believe their efforts are not useful and important. Nor should teens (or any other new writers) feel that the writing they're doing can't be significant or worthy of pride. In the vasty Scalzi archives there's writing I'm proud of, not because it's particularly good but because it represents a moment in time where I got some aspect of writing right.

"when you address this to teenagers, you're implying that its relevance plummets once a person reaches the age of twenty."

Some of it does, particularly the parts addressed to school and to teen social interactions; some of it is useful more universally. It's addressed to teens specifically because that's the age I find most people who want to become writers start stretching their writing muscles. I do think being a teen is a special situation, because teenagers are in a unique place in terms of development, mentally and socially. This place does not map precisely to years, as you note, but it does well enough for what I'm doing here. Needless to say, if people who aren't teenagers find this advice useful, that's fine by me.

Walt Boyes:

"I'd love your permission to crosspost this article to Baen's Bar in the Baen's Universe Forum and on the Baen's Universe magazine editors' blog. Most of what you said applies to inexperienced writers of any age."

You may do so, although I'd prefer a link here instead because I think the comment thread here is also of use. I do know the piece has already been linked to from somewhere inside Baen's Bar already.

Krys | April 29, 2006 06:59 PM

Hey John, just checking in from "Myspace or whatever has replaced Myspace by the time you read this", where JK Richard dropped us your link in the Teen Lit group. (And I've since thanked him.)

Anyway, I'm going to post a link to this on my page for Advice for Teen Novelists. They definitely need to hear what you're saying here. ^_^ And even though I'm a young writer myself, it's nice to see someone else believing in the motto "Right now, your writing sucks." Been living that for the past 10 years! (Hey� ten years� maybe I don�t suck as much any more. Woo!)

Tia | April 29, 2006 07:05 PM

someone on myspace posted a link to this blog so i thought i'd read. your short story reminded me of when i first started writing-and i have to say it's much better than my earlier stuff. i really sucked at the ages 11-13. but then i started reading more and taking classes and using up paper everyday (which upset my mum becuase she had to keep running back to the store to buy more) right now i'm doing freelancing which is going pretty well. i've had a total of one rejections :P (pretty sure there will be more in the future) and am still working on perfecting my um..gift :D

i really liked everything you had to say. different from what most authors tells us teen novelists

Kathianne | April 29, 2006 10:29 PM

Jas,

I came about this via Instapundit. I teach 8th grade. I have a very troubled student that happens to be a hell of a writer. I printed the post and url out and gave it to him. Told him to read the 'short story' and think.

Lisa | April 30, 2006 12:00 AM

I teach writing at an arts magnet high school--and got an MFA after many years and careers. I agree with much that you have said though I truly have a couple of exciting writers in my classes. I do think the ability to leap and use language imaginatively appears at a young age. I also think that teenagers are able to absorb material at a remarkable rate--hence your advice about reading is excellent. When I read what my students write--it makes me hopeful about the world.

Robert Sloan | April 30, 2006 09:10 PM

Great article. I couldn't have put it better.

Your teen story was a thousand times better than my teen stories. The only one that ever grew an ending took 40 different rewrites and eventually got finished as a novel when I was 39... and it was good. But at 16 when I started it, it was three notebooks full of disconnected scenes mostly from the early chapters with a few wandering in from later chapters and no clear idea how any of it fit together.

I wish I still had those notebooks to show teen friends who are miserable about how lousy their writing is. I still wound up learning how. Just had more adventures along the way interfering.

By the way, your cat's in the sink. Your cat looks cool, your cat actually looks a lot like my cat -- that startled me the first time I saw my blog. I love that photo. Yours has a little more fur, but not by much in my cat's winter pelt.

And the lobster looks yummy. Neat collection of photos.

claire | April 30, 2006 11:15 PM

anandimide,

everything you wrote above is, of course, right. but everything scalzi wrote in his post and his responses to you is also right. grouping teenagers and addressing you all as a group is both useful and useless.

the problem, of course, is that to become a good adult writer, you have to reject most of the advice offered you -- and most of the categorization laid upon you -- and make your own path. after you do this, of course, when you're twice as old as you are now, you will look back and recognize the soundness of the advice you rejected, and also how well the categorization fit you.

scalzi was right in his characterization of teenagers, but what's also, historically and categorically, right is that people scalzi's age (like me, for example) are constitutionally incapable of not forcing viewpoints and advice on teenagers. why? because i, and presumably scalzi, are doing the above-mentioned recognizing of categorization and acknowledging of sound advice. boy, do i wish i had listened. boy, am i glad i didn't.

regarding the "write every day" thing: in one year i taught creative writing to high schoolers (16 - 18 y/o), college students (19 - 25 y/o) and working adults (college graduates all, 24 - 70 y/o). i expected the level of intelligence, sophistication, insight, vocabulary, etc. to differ between these three groups. to my surprise, it did not differ *at all*. the college grads had read more, but they'd also forgotten more.

the main, and sometimes only, difference was in *attention span*. highschoolers could concentrate effectively on a lesson or exercise for no more than 10 minutes, and on a discussion for no more than 15. college students for 20-25. and working adults, who got paid to focus on one task all day long, could sit still for three hours and focus on a single task for a half hour, easily, and this was *after* a full day's work, when they were tired.

this is why adults are usually better, deeper, more complex and layered writers than teenagers. not merely because of the greater experience, but because they can focus longer. and, of course, this plays very much into the whole "write every day" thing. i wasn't *capable* of writing every day when i was 16, nor even when i was 26. but i can sit down and write for nine hours straight now, if i have to. i've done it many times. writing every day is a breeze.

Jennifer Wardrip | April 30, 2006 11:21 PM

I read your points with interest, which I actually found through a post by J.K. Richard on MySpace. I found it interesting, thought-provoking, and basically true. I'm no longer a teenager (egads! I'm a thirty-one year old married mother of two) but I'm a published author, an avid reader, a reviewer, and owner of the site TeensReadToo.com which deals with all things having to do with YA/Teen books and authors. I think you make valid points, especially that teenagers are, as a rule, not able to write at the same level as adults. That said, though, I've read books by adults that I felt a ten-year old could have written better. But I definitely agree that all teens--whether writers or just plain readers--should read everything they can, learn about the industry they wish to pursue, practice their writing, and be prepared for rejection. Writing is, and always will be, a lonely journey, with more downs than ups. But it is possible, especially for someone who wants it bad enough!

Emily | April 30, 2006 11:26 PM

I have to go dig out my old teenage poetry and burn it. I read it once a year ago and couldn't believe how awful it was. I had wannabe teenage angst. My life was cake compared to my friends, but I really dug the poetry thing.

I have some students I should pass this onto. I'm not sure if they'd handle it well, though.

John Scalzi | April 30, 2006 11:56 PM

Jennifer Waldrip:

"That said, though, I've read books by adults that I felt a ten-year old could have written better."

As have we all. Imagine how they wrote as teens!

Michael McAdam | May 1, 2006 02:39 AM

Thanks for the great advice. I shared it with my high school Creative Writing class. They were disheartened to know that they all suck but their teacher mainly sucks, too. I do think the advice was encouraging on the whole though and very down to earth. Cheers, Michael

A.R.Yngve | May 1, 2006 12:02 PM

Very good advice, I've recommended the post and linked to it on my blog.
:)

Renee Aidan | May 1, 2006 06:57 PM

Wow, thank you. As a teen writer, that puts a lot in perspective. I've been writing since I was 6, and I've read some of the stuff that I just thought was the greatest thing since Shakespeare, and man, I was wrong. I'm positive I'll be thinking that about stuff I'm writing now when I'm in college and after. Thanks for taking the time to explain in such depth your views on teen writing.

Mrs. Cipriano | May 1, 2006 08:52 PM

I'm going to share this with my 12th grade English students. Hopefully, it will make all I've been preaching this year a little more real to them. If nothing else, it's another way that it will get around to teenagers.

John Scalzi | May 1, 2006 09:23 PM

Let me know how they take to it!

Tess | May 1, 2006 10:50 PM

"Don't worry about writing the Great American Novel by age 25; don't worry about being the Greatest Writer Ever; don't worry about winning the Pulitzer."

I would like to add a big, fat AMEN to this advice. In high school I made a list of writing goals which was pretty much identical (although I think I gave myself until age 40 to win the Pulitzer--or maybe it was the Nobel Prize). It has taken me many years to realize how stupendously unhelpful this way of thinking is. I turned 30 two months ago and got blocked for a bit because I still hadn't let go of my goal of getting a novel published in my 20s. Being a hotshot teen writer turned into an obstacle later on, and I've had to relearn how to take joy in my writing.

Rahul Kanakia | May 2, 2006 12:54 AM

Most of this advice is god's honest truth. As someone who's only six months past being teenage writer physically (and is still one mentally), I learned most of this the hard way.

One point I'd add is about reading the stuff that bores you. When I was in High School I only read science fiction. I scanned through the Great Gatsby and Catcher in the Rye and whatnot and got decent grades in English, but nothing resonated with me. I thought the books were just boring. And at the time, I was right. I didn't have enough life experience and enough reading experience (despite reading a book a day at some points) to appreciate the stuff they foist on you in Literature.

But now, in my sophomore year of college, I'm slowly circling back. I've begun to read modernists (just finished This Side of Paradise and the Collected Stories of F. Scott Fitzgerald) and a whole lot of the boring stuff. And it's not boring anymore. It's genius. My advice to teenage writers is that if they don't get it, don't sweat it, just don't close the door on those books forever.

Also, again...I'm quite young. But if you're primarily a writer of speculative fiction (as I am and was), it's really nice to take college level creative writing courses and spread your wings with literary fiction (break out a bit). It's actually pretty refreshing. Just don't be the ass who insists on turning in sci-fi that baffles most of the people in the class.

amyjohanna | May 2, 2006 07:22 PM

i laughed out loud by myself in public...and then i copied the link and posted a bulletin on MYspace.

Good point on REAL writing not being in blogs...i've been trying to explain that to myself and others for some time now but haven't had the ability to articulate it. hmm. Now i may have some hint as to why.

Ayumi | May 3, 2006 11:27 PM

writing is not what i want to do with my life..i have been writing..since 7th grade and i am very good at it and skilled with how i place myself and all the emotions..i convey. People are deeply impressed with my writing skills but it has taken me time to get to this point..i'll continue only to improve..
^^

Ayumi | May 3, 2006 11:29 PM

i only write to please myself and no one else
this is my voice
no one else..

Guyot | May 5, 2006 09:22 AM

Where were you when I was in my 20's and needed to hear this?

You would have saved me a lot of time and trouble, Scalzi.

The cat keeps staring at me.

Ian | May 5, 2006 10:02 AM

I'm 18 years old so technically I'm still a teenager. You make a lot of sense. I don't have a day job instead I�m still a student. I'm trying to continue my studies. And yes, I stay up all hours of the night typing. I have some Pink Floyd CDs that I'd never part with. You might have vinyls.

Chris | May 5, 2006 02:11 PM

Well... that was a bit of a put down, but at the same time inspired me to try harder. My main problem is I never finish. Right now I have a good concept but I never get around to actually doing anything about it. All I've written is a small paragraph (which gets smaller in my head every minute).

sandswipe | May 5, 2006 04:23 PM

I am currently 16, and have spent the last six years taking these lessons to heart. Even at ten, I thought I was to be the next NY Times best seller, with what was essentially started as a fan fiction. Every year I go through a cycle of adding a little every day to my next big project for a few months, figuring out I suck really really hard, and giving up for several months. It seems like I never make any progress, that nothing will ever be finished if I keep restarting. But every single time it is noticably better. Everything seems to fall in place a little longer for each incarnation, and each time I start again I see a little more of what I think on the page.

My point is that writing every day can in some ways be harmful. If you find you have no new ideas, go and hang out with a completely different crowd of friends for a while, maybe work on other talents, it really doesn't matter as long as you get as far as possible out of your area of expertise without putting yourself in mortal peril. But in my experience, leaving a piece for a while can be the best way to to find it's end.

John Scalzi | May 5, 2006 04:39 PM

Sandswipe:

"But in my experience, leaving a piece for a while can be the best way to to find it's end."

Well, no one's saying you have to write every day on the same thing. But writing every day is good, simply to build up the facility for writing, even when you're not in the mood. As I've noted elsewhere, if one does become a professional writer, one will inevitably meet up with deadlines when one is not inspired to write. This is when it's useful to be able to fall back on the mechanics of being able to write, and that comes from writing frequently.

Monster Zero | May 6, 2006 06:35 AM

As somebody who runs a fairly successful forum for new and experienced writers (608 members and rising!), an article like this is absolutely invaluable to me.

I have dozens of young, inexperienced writers who think they're God's gift, and they need to see this. It'll back up what we've been telling them - yes, you suck now, but it won't always be that way. We were all naff once, kiddo.

Manic | May 6, 2006 11:19 AM

I've been posting some stories on my blog, I wonder if they are good. Now I fear that they are crap because of the things you said -which probably are true. Could some one please come and say if I suck major, or if I just suck a little bit?

Ryuko | May 7, 2006 12:08 AM

Wow, this is a very good guide. Like most, I'll say that it indeed could be useful for adults as well as teenagers. Another thing I'd like to mention is... Yes, they do not teach us the proper use of grammar in school anymore. Hell, just last week, I learned the use of semi-colons 'officially' in school. Before that, my friends were amazed that I would dare to use them in my livejournal. I'm in the 12th grade, and am 17, and can tell you that most of the things we are taught in public school now are how to interpret different pieces of work, while our grammar unit barely harps upon anything beyond period and comma usage and capitalization rules. I believe knowing how to properly use grammar is a big step in developeing your 'voice'. There are many different ways to say things, and it's excellent if someone is aware of all the different tools at their disposal to say that specific thing.

I agree with something someone posted previously; this would make an excellent 'checklist' for a seminar on how to be a better writer. I could definately imagine a speaker going over these rules and giving examples such as you did.

Posting on a blog or livejournal is a great tool to practice. Not only does it help you to write more, but it puts it 'out there' as opposed to sitting on your harddrive or in your desk draw. Instead, it is on the internet where anyone could be able to read it. Often, when a friend stumbles upon my entries, they're surprised by what I have there. Sometimes, they'll comment. I often describe how I'm feeling about my life, or post poems there, but sometimes I'll post short stories and it's great when I get their unbiased input. (I'm guilty of returning from a DnD meeting, posting the events on my livejournal, and having the members hound me for it 'not happening that way'.) If you're a shy person like me who isn't accustomed to 'flaunting' their work to friends, this is a great thing to take advantage of.

Bad sappy poetry is the rite of passage for anyone. If you don't have that type of work hiding in your closet, then the only logical answer is that you are not normal.

CP | May 7, 2006 08:21 PM

Interesting dude. I do have to agree with you that alot of teenage writing sucks. I mean my earlier stuff really sucks, now that I look back, and in a few years I will probably say the stuff I am writing right now sucks too, but guess what I am getting better, and that is all that matters.

On, publishing now, I prefere the interent for getting my stuff out just because people don't know me, and read without bias. Most of my friends snort when I mention I can write, but mostly online no one cares.

Suzanne James | May 8, 2006 01:07 PM

I think the only thing you missed is that teens are published everyday.

gracepub

You Learn for Free - We Teach for Free

John Scalzi | May 8, 2006 02:12 PM

Suzanne James:

"I think the only thing you missed is that teens are published everyday."

Ms. James, do you often misread articles in order to promote your own online interests?

Delia | May 9, 2006 04:21 PM

Your site was pretty helpful, so thanks. The thing is, though, when it comes to writing, nothing else matters except the fact that you're expressing yourself. Who cares if you don't get some fancy, high-paying job? And what does money even matter? I read this article with an open mind, and I thought that most of the main points were very useful. But, being a teen myself, I must admit that I had to skip a few lines every now and then (sorry). I don't know you at all, but I really hope you take criticism well, even if it may be from someone twenty years younger than yourself, and (God forbid) the kind of person you were describing as your teenage self, and how you wish you could go back and change him. We may not have gone to college yet, and we may not know grammar as well as you do, but we're not completely incompetent. (..Well, for the most part.)

A lot of you are saying that if you could, you'd go back and tell your 15-year-old self what to do. But seriously, do you think they'd listen? (Try and honestly picture it. I myself know that I would at least try to listen, but instead would be caught up in the whole "wow- that's what I look like when I'm forty!" thing.) Obviously, I'm joking here, but you get the point: You have to make some mistakes along the road- it's a given. And if you did have the chance to turn back time, and that miniature version of the present-day you took your advice, you know what? You wouldn't have all these hilarious memories to look back on.

So, after a ridiculous amount of rambling, I (actually) do have a point, and it's not just about writing, it's about life. And I know how embarrassing this will be to me twenty years from now, and I know I'll think I'm full of crap. You probably do too! (Hopefully, at least, you'll get a good laugh at this fourteen-year-old trying to prove a point.)

All this criticizing and critiquing about what would have been just isn't worth it. Take it from the real-life teenager here (yes, there are some of us that still enjoy the simpler things in life like writing and aren't caught up in the whole "drugs/sex/alcohol" scene), your wide-eyed and rosy-cheeked self wouldn't understand.

So once again, thank you for sharing your experience.

P.S. We know we suck, but we're trying. At least we're doing something we love, right?

John Scalzi | May 9, 2006 05:07 PM

Delia:

"The thing is, though, when it comes to writing, nothing else matters except the fact that you're expressing yourself."

Well, no. Expressing one's self is indeed important, of course. But if one wants to become a professional writer one day, then there are other skills to pick up, the earlier the better. If one doesn't want to become a professional writer, that's fine too -- but even then, the simple mechanics of writing are important to learn, if only because they help one express one's self more clearly.

The problem with saying "Well, they're expressing themselves, and that's the most important thing" is that expressing one's self is not actually that difficult to do. Babies do it. There's more to writing than mere expression.

"And what does money even matter?"

Ah, well. Try living without it.

Speaking as someone who writes for a living, money matters rather a bit. Now, if one doesn't want to make writing one's profession, that's perfectly fine, and then you have the option of not having money being a consideration. But in my experience most people who want to be writers wouldn't mind getting paid from time to time.

"if you did have the chance to turn back time, and that miniature version of the present-day you took your advice, you know what? You wouldn't have all these hilarious memories to look back on."

Again, no. There's no suggestion that following this advice will mean one will flawlessly transition into a state of grace as a writer. There's very little in this advice, in fact, that is about how to make one's writing better in a mechanical sense -- I'm not telling you how to use adverbs or gerunds or the subjunctive voice or whatever. So anyone expecting to read this and suddenly be a better writer is going to be sorely disappointed.

But more than that, I think teenage writers should make mistakes -- lots of them. Because they're at exactly the right age to make them and to learn from them. The whole reason for point number 2 above is to make this clear: Mistakes aren't to be avoided (that's impossible to do), but they are to be learned from, and it's the learning that eventually makes a better writer.

So, indeed, please, makes tons of mistakes. Better now than later.

Delia | May 9, 2006 10:47 PM

Thanks for the feedback, you made some really great points. I wasn't trying to point fingers in your face or anything, just sharing my thoughts. And you're right in what you said in the reply to my comment. I guess I just said that thing about money and how it shouldn't be so important because it makes me upset how materialistic people are these days, but again, you were correct: I would not like to try living without it, so I guess I was contradicting myself, and I apologize.

Your site is very well-crafted. I appreciate how much effort you put into it.

fynbob | May 10, 2006 03:07 PM

eragon was published first by paolini's parents
thats how it got published (i think)

John Scalzi | May 10, 2006 03:18 PM

Yes, it was self-published first, then was picked up by a larger publisher.

Kate | May 10, 2006 09:17 PM

Oh, yeah. I'm raising my hand for the 'are any teens going to read this' poll. And boy, was this helpful: I've been honing my writing for something like six years now, being at the ripe old age of fifteen and a half, and found this list enormously helpful. Not to mention the comments that were posted after it.

Thumbs up. I'm taking this to heart.

And by the way? Eragon was horrible. It's my personal goal to someday mudwrestle that author and then laugh manaically as I shove him out of the ring. "TAKE THAT, PAOLINI, FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THE WRITING WORLD!"

>:)

Sal | May 12, 2006 05:51 AM

Hello, I'm a teen. I never read Eragon. The title sounded too much like dragon. In my (limited) experience, dragons in fantasies always had terrible characters.

I did enjoy reading the entry, expecially the repeated use of the word 'suck'. Your honesty is good.

Anonymous | May 13, 2006 08:25 PM

oh save it you pompous prick. who asked for your help.

John Scalzi | May 13, 2006 08:33 PM

See, this why you need writing advice. You should be able to come up with a much better snide remark than this.

Joe_UK | May 14, 2006 09:32 AM

Wow i've just stumbled acroos this website by pure accident and i love it. I'm 15, a keen musician and love creative writing. Although i'd always wondered why my lyrics often sound popmous and cheesey i've never realised fully until now. Thanks John, your wise words are an inspiration to me.

Joe

ivyplant | May 15, 2006 03:53 AM

ahh..... i feel so much better. good to know that blogging helps... thank you john :)

emozlie | May 16, 2006 12:21 AM

Wow thanks! Great insiration/tips :)

David | May 16, 2006 01:12 AM

I greatly value everything you've said in this article except for the first segment condemning teenage writers. I, being 18, realize that I have yet to reach my full writing potential. On the other hand, I have an utterly distinct view on life at this age which is worthy of being listened to if nothing else. Sure, I may not be as witty or wise as my 35 year old counterpart, but it is the naivity and brashness of my writing which makes it so distinct. If I were to write from the perspective of my current age, 18, as a 35 year old, my work would most certainly be adulturated with 17 years of forgetfullness and perhaps even wisdom.
I may or may not be truly representative of others my age in this post, but I have suspisions that their are some who also have this quite ridiculous convictions.

Anonymous | May 16, 2006 01:14 AM

Sorry about the spelling errors. They just go to disprove my argument. Hehe.

John Scalzi | May 16, 2006 08:10 AM

Well, as noted in the article, being a teenager doesn't mean you don't have valid things to say. You do. The question is: Do you have the technical wherewithal as a writer to get those words out and say what you want to say, how you want to say them? This is where mundane practice and experience can help.

aimee | May 17, 2006 04:48 PM

Hya i have nearly wrote my first book and i think it is remotley good as i have baised it on a true life sitiuation that have been through but i really want sum 1 2 read it and tell me what my next steps are

Hannah Blue | May 18, 2006 01:23 PM

(I mean, this is all great stuff, if they take the time to read it, but will they even know it's here?)

I'm 15 years old, I managed to find it, and I thought it was really good, very helpful, because (gasp!) I took the time to read it after I found it.

Naomi | May 19, 2006 04:54 PM

Interesting article. I was rather frightened at first that it was so long (I mean, how many reasons can there be for me not to write "The Great American Novel"???) but thankfully it was just the comments.

I am 13 and I found this useful. However, may I point out (like others have done on this very same blog) that SOME very gifted authors (i.e. Francois Sagan) have written some truly amazing books. I won't hold my breath for it to happen to me, though, so I thank you for your experience.

("...Drunk with heat and moonlight..." - Bonjour Tristesse, Sagan, 17)

John Scalzi | May 19, 2006 04:59 PM

Francois Sagan may indeed one of those freaks of nature, and feaks of nature are their own thing (as noted in the article). Most of us have to work at it, alas.

Kelly | May 21, 2006 11:13 AM

So, to other teenagers who have posted/will post: we think we know everything. And, well, we don't. I have the guts to admit it, even to myself. Hearing this advice is worthwhile, even if a lot of it we already know.

Kelly | May 21, 2006 11:26 AM

I am a teenager, and somehow stumbled across this. I agree completely with you, John. My writing sucks. My friends' writing sucks. Anyone who says otherwise is delusional. I must say, however, that in reading the other comments by teenagers, I was a little irritated. There seemed to be quite a bit of "Well, I'm a genius and your advice doesn't apply to me, so shove it" and "i don't know how to use capital letters".

So, to other teenagers who have posted/will post: we think we know everything. And, well, we don't. Hearing this advice is worthwhile, even if your parents and teachers think your writing is "brilliant".

I write a lot, and