Josh Marshall hauls up the story of Florida state legislator Bob Allen, who was recently arrested for soliciting sex in a public restroom; specifically it's alleged that he offered an undercover cop a Jackson if he'd let the legislator blow him. This was not a smart thing to do. But having been caught doing something stupid, Allen, who is a pudgy white fellow, has decided to double down on his stupidity by offering what is a truly, spectacularly -- indeed, magnificently -- dumb reason for soliciting another man for sex: Fear of a Black Planet!
"This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park," said Allen, according to this article in the Orlando Sentinel. Allen went on to say he was afraid of becoming a "statistic."
Now, if you go to either Josh's site or the Sentinel article, you'll see that according to the officer (who, incidentally, was not there originally to entrap pudgy white state legislators in public restrooms, but was instead staking out a burglar at a nearby condo), it was Allen who initiated the contact. So let's think Allen's rationale through:
Allen, during the middle of the work day, was at the park, just minding his own business, enjoying the Florida sunshine or whatever, like you do, when he suddenly noticed that the park was full of black men. Fearing for his own personal safety, he decided that the best course of action was to go into the public restroom, peer over a stall -- twice -- to locate a black man, and offer that black man $20 and a blow job if he'd just leave him alone.
Which leads me to ask: What, is this like a Florida thing? For generations, have the white men of Florida pulled aside their sons and passed along the secret knowledge that the best way to avoid racial conflict with a black man is to offer him pizza money and a hummer? Is this part of a whole slate of intergenerational Floridian white man knowledge, up there with how to wrassle a gator and the best way to get James Baker to handle your recount? Clearly this all needs to be bound up in a book: Everything I Ever Needed To Know About Being a White Man in Florida I Learned in a City Park Bathroom Stall. I, for one, breathlessly await its publication.
What I find rather interesting is that Allen must believe, in some dim fashion, that people will actually buy this, and more than buy this, agree with it, which is to say that Allen believes that the average Floridan would think to himself or herself, "why, yes, when confronted with a park full of black men, a white man turning himself into some sort of ATM/suction device combo is an entirely rational response." Now, I fully admit to not being an expert on Floridians, so maybe this does make sense to them. You hear so many strange things about Florida; Hell, it's got its own tag on Fark, for crying out loud.
Having said that, I would like to believe that the vast majority of Floridians see this for what it almost certainly is: idiotic nonsense. The only real bit of news out of all of this is that Allen would rather be seen as a terrified racist than as someone willing to solicit strangers in a public restroom to get some man-on-man action. Well, here's the thing, Mr. Allen: Clearly, you can be both. There's a statistic for you.
Comments (90)
de-lurking in West Palm Beach...
No, giving hummers never occured to me as a way of defusing racial tension. Funniest thing I've read today so far and living in Florida I do in fact get exposed to some weird stuff!
Posted by Richard | August 7, 2007 12:23 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:23
Don't you see? He's providing healthcare benefits to the uninsured! :D Sorry. . .
Posted by Abe | August 7, 2007 12:24 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:24
Clearly this Allen fellow would benefit from a judicial application of force. You know, to knock some of the stupid out.
Posted by Skar | August 7, 2007 12:29 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:29
I spent my formative years in Florida and this knowledge was never passed on to me. Then again, my grandparents had moved to the state from NY in the '20's, so maybe the natives kept this lore secret from the Jew-Yankee interloper types.
Posted by Nathan | August 7, 2007 12:36 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:36
Bizarre sexual behavior in Florida is not limited to white men. I understand they also have women who become teachers and then have sex with 12 year old boys.
Posted by duckman1957 | August 7, 2007 12:39 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:39
Frankly I don't care if guys try to buy sex in public toilets (capitalism and consenting adults etc), I do object to such stupid excuses. Fer feck's sake he would have been better off just admitting he wanted man sex.
Posted by Rhiannon_s | August 7, 2007 12:42 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:42
To quote one of my favorite X-Files episodes, "All the nuts roll downhill to Florida."
Posted by Jeff | August 7, 2007 12:43 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:43
Hey remember our buddy Ted Haggard? He's the guy who bought meth from his gay prostititue, but later claimed: "I called him to buy some meth, but I threw it away".
That seems pretty reasonable to me.
Why just last week I bought a 42" plasma television from Best Buy, and when I got home - I threw it away.
Posted by Christian | August 7, 2007 12:44 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:44
I honestly don't understand Allen's Gas-on-the-Fire tactic in trying to save his reputation. But, it is damn fun to watch. Really, I know it's horrible of me, but I keep waiting around to see what the crazy bastard will say next.
Still, he'd do a lot to save his image if he just admitted that he likes to smoke a little pole now and then. After that, the healing can begin.
Posted by Dan | August 7, 2007 12:47 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:47
I think it's just Florida. The place just seems to breed a particular brand of blatant criminal weirdness (or weird criminality). Apparently all you need for a successful career as a writer of humorous hard-boiled crime novels is a stint at a Florida newspaper.
Posted by Cambias | August 7, 2007 12:48 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:48
I had missed the part where the Officer ditched the chance to bust an actual violent thug in favor of a $20 solicitation charge.
The whole thing is a clusterf*ck of bigotry.
Posted by Josh Jasper | August 7, 2007 12:50 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:50
Every conservative is a repressed homosexual. If only our culture was not so sexually oppressive people like Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich and George Bush and Dick Cheney could live as they wish they could and we wouldn't have the problems we do now. For the want of a knob job we got the Iraq war.
Posted by Ed | August 7, 2007 12:52 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:52
Well, if you weren't blocked at the Dayton Airport before this, you most likely will be now.
;)
Posted by Randy | August 7, 2007 12:56 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:56
Hey, this may be the next big political idea…reparations money AND blow jobs. Nice work Allen!
Posted by Jon R | August 7, 2007 12:59 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:59
"Why just last week I bought a 42" plasma television from Best Buy, and when I got home - I threw it away."
Well, yeah, who'd want to be associated with Best Buy? I understand your shame.
Posted by Randy | August 7, 2007 12:59 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 12:59
Josh Jasper:
I'm not sure it's shown that the burglar they were hoping to catch out was violent, nor that he was in the act of burglarizing at the time. Also, I'm not entirely sure why police should ignore what they see as suspicious behavior simply because they are initially otherwise engaged. We can argue whether solicitation should be a crime, I suppose, but at the moment it is.
Ed:
"For the want of a knob job we got the Iraq war."
Eh. I don't think every conservative man is repressed and gay, and I think there was more to the Iraq war than a knob job.
Posted by John Scalzi | August 7, 2007 1:02 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:02
Maybe he's going for an insanity defense.
Posted by BigHank53 | August 7, 2007 1:07 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:07
Apparently all you need for a successful career as a writer of humorous hard-boiled crime novels is a stint at a Florida newspaper.
This story does read like something Dave Barry would write, doesn't it? Perhaps Allen is gathering fodder for his next career as a novelist.
Posted by Janiece | August 7, 2007 1:11 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:11
Janice:
Don't forget Carl Hiaasen!
Posted by John Scalzi | August 7, 2007 1:12 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:12
John,
You're right - Carl really is the king of weird Florida crime novels. I don't know why Dave's name came to mind first.
At least Allen didn't claim to solicit the officer after licking a toad!
Posted by Janiece | August 7, 2007 1:14 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:14
I think that's why Fark has a special article tag, just for Florida.
Posted by David Klecha | August 7, 2007 1:20 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:20
Cambias: My favorite "weird crime in Florida" novel is Dave Barry's Big Trouble. It's one of the funniest things I've ever read. And I'm not alone:
"This book will do for [the South Florida] tourism industry what Dennis Rodman did for bridal wear." --Carl Hiaasen
There really has been a whole bunch of neat work in the "weird crime in Florida" genre, hasn't there?
Posted by Eric | August 7, 2007 1:29 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:29
All he needs do now is add a "PROTECT THE CHILDREN!" spin to it and it would be perfect.
Posted by Dave Weingart | August 7, 2007 1:29 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:29
Don't forget Tim Dorsey as well in the Florida journalist turned crime writer.
I think the female teacher/ male student case in Florida is more interesting.
http://www.floridatoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007708050342
Posted by Patrick M. | August 7, 2007 1:40 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:40
Dave Weingart,
Allen is protecting the children - by soliciting grown-ups.
Rhiannon_s said it - Frankly I don't care if guys try to buy sex in public toilets (capitalism and consenting adults etc).
As long as he's not soliciting children, I don't give a good God Damn who the guy blows. Just quit being a pansy about it and own up.
Posted by Janiece | August 7, 2007 1:41 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:41
Janiece:
"Just quit being a pansy about it and own up."
Ironic choice of words, there.
Posted by John Scalzi | August 7, 2007 1:42 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:42
John,
Intentional, actually. Hee!
Posted by Iron(y) Janiece | August 7, 2007 1:47 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:47
1. Until recently I didn't even know that Republicans had sex. I know Baptists (and aren't most of them Republican) in the South don't have sex. They're afraid it may lead to dancing.
2. Iraq wasn't about a knob job. Bombing Serbia was about a knob job.
Posted by Vince | August 7, 2007 1:49 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:49
"For generations, have the white men of Florida pulled aside their sons and passed along the secret knowledge that the best way to avoid racial conflict with a black man is to offer him pizza money and a hummer?"
I seriously just spat a mouthful of sandwich all over my keyboard here at work...and had to explain why to my co-workers, who all gave me the hairy eyeball.
Except my editor, who, for some reason, rather than asking me why I wasn't doing work, read the article and chuckled, as well.
Thanks, John.
Posted by D.Paul | August 7, 2007 1:51 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:51
I lived in Key West for a few years. One of my friends was a nurse and she told me a lot of stories about fine, upstanding, perfectly normal folk from salt-of-the-earth places like Ohio and Michigan that would end up in the Key West emergency room for pool balls stuck in their orifices and the like.
It just goes to show that there must be something in the water, air, or both in Florida.
Posted by Kelsey | August 7, 2007 1:52 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 13:52
If nothing else, I am now determined to own a copy of some kind of "weird Florida crime" mystery novel. I can't pass up a novel length version of anything like this article.
Posted by Imani | August 7, 2007 2:03 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 14:03
Dave Barry doubtless came to mind because working at a newspaper was mentioned.
Also, didn't the two collaborate on something big? Maybe I'm just confabulating that because they ought'to've.
Posted by Nentuaby | August 7, 2007 2:08 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 14:08
Damn, Dave Klecha beat me to the Fark point.
Posted by Andrew | August 7, 2007 2:11 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 14:11
Andrew:
Actually, I beat both of you to the Fark point; it's in the actual entry.
Posted by John Scalzi | August 7, 2007 2:13 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 14:13
Don't Dave Barry and Carl Hiaasen belong to a rock group? I mean for real--with Stephen King and some other writers.
Posted by AliceB | August 7, 2007 2:17 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 14:17
Alice B.-
The Rockbottom Remainders
Posted by Angelle | August 7, 2007 2:20 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 14:20
Yes, they do.
"The Rockbottom Remainders" is a pretty sad name for a rock band with Dave Barry in it, though. It's certainly no Federal Duck.
Posted by Nentuaby | August 7, 2007 2:30 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 14:30
Amy Tan sings (or at least used to) with them.
Posted by Jason Summers | August 7, 2007 2:30 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 14:30
I am sure that 28% ( the crazies who support such people ) will believe Allen.
Posted by Doug in Vancouver | August 7, 2007 2:43 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 14:43
So, basically what he's saying is "I'm not gay, I'm a racist"? That's quite a defence.
Posted by Megan | August 7, 2007 2:44 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 14:44
I look forward to a day in this country when a man tries to get out of seeming a racist by trying to say he's gay. That would be progress.
Perhaps my hypothetical-children-I-don't-have yet will live to see it.
Posted by Angelle | August 7, 2007 3:37 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 15:37
Hahahaha!
Sorry, I just can't stop laughing at how stupid this guy is. It's tragic that he thinks his defense would be in any way logical, but more funny than anything else.
Posted by ordinarygirl | August 7, 2007 4:04 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 16:04
Megan : So, basically what he's saying is "I'm not gay, I'm a racist"? That's quite a defence., in conservative circles, that probably makes you less hated.
John : Also, I'm not entirely sure why police should ignore what they see as suspicious behavior simply because they are initially otherwise engaged. We can argue whether solicitation should be a crime, I suppose, but at the moment it is.
Having read the conversation reported between the guy and the cop, the cop was clearly trying to set him up for a bust. He could have just told the guy "no thanks." and gone on with his bust.
I don't trust cops who bust people for cruising to lack homophobia. Even for-pay cruising. I don't trust the departmensts who push for the busts either. You may feel they deserve the benefit of the doubt. Enough years of GLBT activism provided me with sufficient reason to be distrusting.
Posted by Josh Jasper | August 7, 2007 4:14 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 16:14
Josh Jasper:
"Having read the conversation reported between the guy and the cop, the cop was clearly trying to set him up for a bust."
Well, yes, clearly, and Allen helped him considerably in that goal, I'd say. As for telling Allen "no thanks," when he was being propositioned, are you suggesting that a policeman should ignore someone walking right up to him and breaking the law? Again, one may argue whether the law is fair or unfair, useful or not, but I'm not sure I'd agree with the proposition that police should selectively enforce laws, or not pursue, in a legal fashion, those they believe are breaking laws (or are about to).
"I don't trust cops who bust people for cruising to lack homophobia. Even for-pay cruising. I don't trust the departments who push for the busts either."
It's not in evidence from the article that the department was pushing for this particular bust; it appears to have just fallen into the officer's lap, as it were. I agree it's entirely possible the officer may be homophobic, but it's also entirely possible he's not, and he was just doing his job.
Posted by John Scalzi | August 7, 2007 4:40 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 16:40
Word, Megan. Some people will kill you if not killing you might make them look gay (remember that crush show on that tabloid talk show
http://www.glaad.org/action/al_archive_detail.php?id=2272). Right now in our culture many people would rather be seen as a murderer rather than as gay.
Posted by Ed | August 7, 2007 4:47 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 16:47
"Megan : So, basically what he's saying is "I'm not gay, I'm a racist"? That's quite a defence., in conservative circles, that probably makes you less hated."
Go out and try to meet some conservatives my friend, your prejudices are showing.
Posted by Skar | August 7, 2007 4:56 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 16:56
Ed,
I'm afraid I have to agree with Scalzi on this one - clearly this knucklehead is both, and is trying to obfuscate his gay activities with the blatent racist defense. Perhaps he believes his constituents and the larger public are dumber than a box of rocks...or he is.
In either case, the fact that he's demonstrated himself to be a racist doesn't negate his attempt to participate in what is clearly a gay sexual activity. He really needed to just quit digging.
Posted by Janiece | August 7, 2007 4:58 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 16:58
Oh – Thank you! I had not heard this story before. I am sitting here laughing so hard!! I was born and raised in Jacksonville Florida (I live in New Mexico now) and my family was chocked full of Florida politicians. Now Bob Allen has gone and done it….let out one of our Florida secrets! One of the best ways to make friends and influence people is to hang around park restrooms and give out a couple of sawbucks and a BJ. You just have to understand what the heat, bugs, tourist attractions, swamps, grits, gators, New Yorkers, and hurricanes – do to our formative years – Y’all. Ain’t none of us quite right. Many of my friends of color would agree that the politicians in Florida have been giving them BJs for years. Look further into some voting problems and practices that have occurred in many mostly black Florida communities. Those good old boys sure now how to get things done…Y’all. Wow – the more I think about this story the more amazed I am…
Y’all take care ya’hear,
Patricia
Posted by Patricia | August 7, 2007 5:12 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 17:12
Ed: Every conservative is a repressed homosexual.
Ed, everyone who is politically left of center is just repressed. Deal with it.
Posted by duckman1957 | August 7, 2007 5:35 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 17:35
Wait a sec - you mean they *don't* pleasure each other and exchange money in public restrooms in other states?
Y'all don't know what you're missing! Now you know why Orlando is the happiest place on earth!
Posted by Jamilyn (proud Floridian) | August 7, 2007 8:30 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 20:30
not just an asshat, but a *cheap* one at that.
Posted by Lizzibabe | August 7, 2007 9:05 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 21:05
I have to say that while I'm pretty live and let live, I can see that being a real public health issue. Though maybe someone can explain this to me - If progressives don't care about who does what b/t consenting adults, why would any of you care if all conservatives were repressed homosexuals? And yes, I do know that many of you on this blog don't stand behind the comment. And yes, I am enjoying watching the train wreck. Watching stupid go plaid is always fun. Personally, I'm of the clean your own house first school, so let's get this a**hat out of the way.
Posted by Brett | August 7, 2007 9:39 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 21:39
Umm. Not that I am defending the guy. But according to most of the local news reports the conversation went along the lines of
Cop: " Been here often."
Allen: " Uh ocassionally."
Cop: " Want a blowjob? 20 bucks."
Allen: " uh, maybe."
Most of the local news reports said that the cop propositioned Allen. Sound to me ( a professional skeptic) that there may be a couple of different crimes/ethical shortcomings on both sides here. Would be interesting to have had a real recording of what happened.
Posted by Mike | August 7, 2007 11:28 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 23:28
Mike:
"Most of the local news reports said that the cop propositioned Allen."
The policeman's report (as reported in the Sentinel) notes that Allen peered over the top of the bathroom stall the cop was in -- twice -- and then entered the stall with the cop still in it. At which point I suspect it was pretty clear what Allen was there for, unless in Florida, men regularly enter occupied public restroom stalls just to chat.
But by all means, let Allen suggest there was police entrapment; I'd be interested to know how that plays out.
Here's the actual police report, incidentally (.pdf link). It looks like the cop figured out pretty quickly what Allen was up, and made it easy for him to get himself in trouble.
Posted by John Scalzi | August 7, 2007 11:38 PM
Posted on August 7, 2007 23:38
John: Well, yes, clearly, and Allen helped him considerably in that goal, I'd say. As for telling Allen "no thanks," when he was being propositioned, are you suggesting that a policeman should ignore someone walking right up to him and breaking the law? Again, one may argue whether the law is fair or unfair, useful or not, but I'm not sure I'd agree with the proposition that police should selectively enforce laws,
Well, shoot, they selectively enforce speeding laws, littering laws, and so on. If a cop pulls you over for speeding, you can be "let go with a warning". *How* is this all that different? Cops in vice constantly know where prostitutes hang out. Again, many professional prostitutes keep fairly safe. If the cop had said "no thinks, I'm not gay" to the first time the representative propositioned him we would not be having this conversation. But he decided to see if he could wrangle busting a gay man instead of actually tracking down a burglar. The job he was *assigned* to do.
I'm sorry if you're not seeing the homophobic agenda there. If you're not, I'm pretty sure it's because you don't have experience in how homophobic cops operate. It's clear as daylight to me.
Posted by Josh Jasper | August 8, 2007 12:13 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 00:13
Oh, I saw that in an "Extras" episode with Ricky Gervais and that other tall dude and a strange old man. Except that they were all actors taking a break during Baftas. But they were just chatting really, so maybe Mr. Allen is a fan.
Posted by Imani | August 8, 2007 12:20 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 00:20
Barry and Hiassen worked on a round robin group novel called Naked Came the Manatee together (other authors included Edna Buchanan and Elmore Leonard). I honestly didn't think it was as good as Hiassen's solo work, but it had some good stretches.
Um. I'm not completely comfortable with the cop's story (he was inside an unlocked stall drying his hands?), but as reported Allen's behavior was perhaps a bit more aggressive than I'd want a stranger to be with me in a public restroom.
That said, I think his excuse is the stupidest base-stroking thing I've heard in ages, and he'd best hope very, very hard that he isn't sentenced to a Florida prison.
Posted by julia | August 8, 2007 12:33 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 00:33
Allen went on to say he was afraid of becoming a "statistic."
Well, he's done that! He's not a statistic now, he's an anecdote.
Posted by Scott | August 8, 2007 12:41 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 00:41
Josh Jasper:
"But he decided to see if he could wrangle busting a gay man instead of actually tracking down a burglar. The job he was *assigned* to do."
I think you're cutting that hair a little fine, there. The job a cop is assigned to do is to be a cop. If in doing one aspect of his job he sees someone doing something that engages another aspect of his job, I'm not seeing why he can't or shouldn't pursue that.
Now, as it happens, in the police officer's report suggests that the reason the cop twigged to Allen in the first place was because he saw Allen's car circle around a couple of times and was concerned that he was being counter-surveilled. So, in fact, Allen came to the cop's attention at least initially because, as you say, he was doing the job he was assigned to do.
"I'm sorry if you're not seeing the homophobic agenda there."
I can see why you see it there. I'm seeing the "Let's keep people from soliciting for prostitution in a public restroom" agenda, primarily.
Posted by John Scalzi | August 8, 2007 12:44 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 00:44
"You wouldn't hit a guy with a c*?k in his mouth, would ya?" - Jon Stewart
Classic.
Posted by CosmicDog | August 8, 2007 2:07 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 02:07
Jon R wrote:
Hey, this may be the next big political idea…reparations money AND blow jobs. Nice work Allen!
Okay, you win the thread.
I just like the idea of "40 Acres and some head."
Posted by Chuck | August 8, 2007 2:07 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 02:07
I'm seeing the "Let's keep people from soliciting for prostitution in a public restroom" agenda, primarily.
That sounds rather like the quip about how the law prohibits the rich and the poor alike from sleeping under bridges.
This non-homophobic cop was obviously being very steadfast about prohibiting men AND women from prostituting themselves in a men's restroom.
Posted by Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little | August 8, 2007 5:15 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 05:15
Carl Hiassen and Dave Barry are very funny writers, but I always have the feeling that they have an unfair advantage. I mean, they live in a state that is apparently to weirdness what Kuwait is to crude oil - they're kneedeep in the weird every day. Show me a comic crime writer who lives somewhere resolutely normal, like Illinois, and you'll have found a true comic genius.
Posted by ajay | August 8, 2007 7:02 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 07:02
Dave Barry, Dave Marsh, Grail Marcus, Stephen King, Amy Tan, Barbara Kingsolver, Matt Groening, and tons of other people I don't remember set up this rock band, The Rockbottom Remainders, proceedings to go to charity (American Literacy Association, I think). They were indeed pretty terrible to start with, apart from Barbara Kingsolver who apparently could play. One of their famous acts was Amy Tan singing These Boots Are Made from Walking on dominatrix outfit, trampling all over Dave Barry (or maybe it was Dave Marsh?) and extinguishing a cigarette on his chest. Dave Berry, Dave Marsh and Greil Marcus featured as the Critics' Chorus.
I know this because I translated a book they published called "The Rock Bottom Remainders tour America", which was (not surprisingly, seen who the contributors where) very good and whose Italian edition somehow never materialized, to my great regret.
Posted by Anna Feruglio Dal Dan | August 8, 2007 7:33 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 07:33
Nicole J. LeBouef-Little:
"That sounds rather like the quip about how the law prohibits the rich and the poor alike from sleeping under bridges."
Oh, please. Unlike the homeless person who has not much choice but to sleep under a bridge, Bob Allen was not forced either to solicit for prostitution or do such a solicitation in a park bathroom by anything other than his own choice. Lots of gay folk -- even the closeted ones -- manage to get their rocks off without doing either.
I don't think anyone who has spent any time on this site could reasonably peg me for someone against men having sex with men, if that's what they want. I say, go! Sex away. However, if you choose to express that desire by cruising public men's rooms and offering cash for services to be rendered to the men there, you run the risk of, oh, being arrested for solicitation of prostitution.
"This non-homophobic cop was obviously being very steadfast about prohibiting men AND women from prostituting themselves in a men's restroom."
In this particular case, he did neither; in this particular case he was steadfast against people soliciting for prostitutes in a men's restroom. And clearly, it's men who are more likely to do that there.
Now, we can speculate as to what the policeman in this story would have done if he'd seen a woman doing what Allen was doing; personally I would suspect that if he saw a woman entering a men's restroom, he might reasonably wonder what she was up to and investigate, because, as you wish to suggest, it would be unusual.
As noted, I will grant the possibility of this cop being a homophobe; hey, he might be. What I don't grant is that he must be a homophobe in order to have arrested Allen soliciting for prostitution in a public men's room. He just had to be paying attention.
Posted by John Scalzi | August 8, 2007 8:36 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 08:36
Why is it that everyone soliciting sex in a men's room who's not George Michael turns out to be a Republican?
We had a rash of 'em in our part of Ohio a few years ago. They always make me sad. I'm just like, "Dude, if you want some hot man action, go getcha some! Be happy!"
Posted by Angelle | August 8, 2007 9:38 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 09:38
Show me a comic crime writer who lives somewhere resolutely normal, like Illinois, and you'll have found a true comic genius.
You mean Chicago politics are normal?
Though you may have a point, ajay, since Second City does come from Chicago, I wouldn't choose Illinois as my example of normalcy. Wasn't there a study that tried to find the most "average" town in the U.S. and landed somewhere in Ohio?
Posted by AliceB | August 8, 2007 9:47 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 09:47
Does that mean I get to be the next big comic crime writer, Alice? 'Cause that'd be all right. Today I'm working on a murder mystery set in a thinly disguised Yellow Springs . . .
I have often said that somebody needs to do for the rust belt Midwest what Faulkner did for the antebellum South. Maybe now I should amend that to what Hiaasen did for Florida . . .
Posted by Angelle | August 8, 2007 9:53 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 09:53
Oops, post bellum. I'm not well today.
Posted by Angelle | August 8, 2007 9:55 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 09:55
Angelle, have you ever read The Watsons Go to Birmingham by Christopher Paul Curtis? Yeah, it's a children's book, but it has, hands down, the funniest first chapter I've read in any book, ever. And the beginning, at least, is set in the rust belt.
But a funny crime novel from up there is needed, for sure.
And ajay, it just dawns on me that since John is in "normal" Ohio, and this has got to be one of the funniest posts I've read in ages, he must be the comic genius you're looking for. (Take a bow, John.)
Posted by AliceB | August 8, 2007 10:12 AM
Posted on August 8, 2007 10:12