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June 13, 2007

Creation Museum Update


Above LOLRex from Eric Buhler. Very cute.

I suppose you all want an update on the drive to drag my ass to the Creation Museum. Fine. Here's the update:

Hate. You. All.

Make of that what you will.

You still have two days to make a donation. Might as well add insult to injury, folks.

Posted by john at June 13, 2007 03:28 PM

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Pablo Defendini | June 13, 2007 03:57 PM

I take it the donations have exceeded your expectations? Chalk one up for the godless heathen contingent of Whatever readers, w00t!

Mfitz | June 13, 2007 03:57 PM

But we love you. :-)

Pablo Defendini | June 13, 2007 03:58 PM

Yes, we do.

MWT | June 13, 2007 04:14 PM

In fact, I'll sweeten the deal by saying that if I get $1,000 in donations, everyone who donates will get two special extras from me: an appropriately-themed short fiction piece and something else that I'll think up of later but which will probably be ridiculous and stupid and hopefully a little funny.

So... time to talk extra-special goodies, then? :D

Dan | June 13, 2007 04:23 PM

Hey! That T-Rex looks like he (or she. I can never tell the difference) is about to get on Noah's Ark.

Anyway, I'll be "donatin' to ur cawz" later today.

Michael Rawdon | June 13, 2007 04:31 PM

I think you should visit the museum in full zombie make-up, John.

Amanda | June 13, 2007 04:40 PM

Haa. We of the Godless Heathen Society are sticklers for the punishment of others. Or something.


ZOMBIES. I'd toss in more cash if there was Zombies involved.

Corby K | June 13, 2007 04:44 PM

And I didn't even have to raise a finger.


Christian | June 13, 2007 05:11 PM

Click Me!

Click Me!

You Cannot Resist The Clicky Goodness!

Patrick | June 13, 2007 05:19 PM


Oh, wait, is that John? AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

michael | June 13, 2007 05:32 PM

Well, how close is the drive to $1,000? If it's within striking distance I may heed the pull to append more to my donation. Plus, I don't think I planned for this possibility, omitting my e-mail address from the first.


G-D | June 13, 2007 05:47 PM

Thou Shalt Go to the Creation Museum
Thou Shalt watch thein Coconut eating dinosours
Thou Shalt not hate thein readership

Jim Wright | June 13, 2007 05:48 PM

Hate. You. All.

Oh stop it. Like you didn't know this was gonna happen. You know us, dude - as long as it doesn't cause us pain (i.e. only you have to suffer) we're in. In fact we'll even pay for it. We love ya, John, but we loves ya even more when you're being entertaining. Suffering for our entertainment? It don't get any better than that - unless you're giving away free stuff. Hey! That's a thought, you could sweeten this whole deal (which is pretty sweet already!) by getting us all a gift from the Museum! (John, in the Museum store, "See, I need like 24 thousand of those little Zombie Jesus Action Figures with the Born Again Grip...you got any more of those in back?")

And remember - pictures, especially pictures of you riding the little stegosaur.

Smile and wave, Boys, smile and wave.

John H | June 13, 2007 05:53 PM


Have fun at the 'museum' -- we can't wait to see all the pictures!

John H | June 13, 2007 05:56 PM

Oh wait -- that wasn't Newman sitting on the crapper. It's been too long since I saw Jurassic Park...

Jennifer | June 13, 2007 05:58 PM

Even being a zombie doesn't get you outta this one, huh?

alkali | June 13, 2007 06:02 PM

Im in ur paypal, direcktn your tourizm

Pablo Defendini | June 13, 2007 06:18 PM

Jim Wirght-

"Suffering for our entertainment", you say?

hm. I smell a new religion in the making...

Patrick | June 13, 2007 06:42 PM

Plabo - Church of the Suffering Scalzi?

rick gregory | June 13, 2007 06:49 PM

Ah.. donating was the best money I've spent all month! This should be very fun... for US!

F-L | June 13, 2007 06:59 PM

Any way to donate other than paypal?

John Scalzi | June 13, 2007 07:03 PM

No. It's the easiest way for me to both quickly collect and then disburse this money.

Sally Lou Liz | June 13, 2007 07:08 PM

Christian - yep, couldn't resist that clicky goodness. Glad it was sfw. Good one!!!

John, there is so much delight in making you go to this museum. I'm catching a whiff of schadenfreude pie!!! heehee

Jon | June 13, 2007 07:15 PM

As a Christian who grew up in a Creationism-believing household, I feel compelled to donate my $10. Let 'em have it, Scalzi!

-et- | June 13, 2007 07:18 PM

As a confirmed cynic, that remark by Scalzi sounds to me like the total is getting close to meeting the $250 "price," and he is trying a little reverse psychology. His goal - to convince people that they no longer need to send in a donation to be able to vicariously watch him cringe at the Creation Museum.

My donation was sent a short time ago!

The amount - $13.32 - because I am twice as evil . . .

With best wishes,
- Tom -

Jesus Christ | June 13, 2007 07:28 PM

I'm so glad John is going. Now I don't have to put in an appearance. 'Cuz Dad knows they'd want me to do it in something stupid like a taco or a plate of mashed potatoes. Frankly, mom and I are getting sick of those.

Oh, and that last one on CNN? That wasn't me. That was Walter Cronkite. Neat trick, considering we weren't expecting Walt for a bit.

Jim Wright | June 13, 2007 07:44 PM

I smell a new religion in the making...

Naw, Scalzi already did that. And, now he must pay for his sins by visiting other people's craziness. Let that be lesson for you, children, leave making up new belief systems to the professionals.

Oh, by the way, Scalzi, make sure you visit the bathroom when you're at the musuem - I want to know what kind of graffiti Young Earth Creationists scratch on the stall walls.

"Adam waz here! Class of 4000BC"

Omaha Lisa | June 13, 2007 08:47 PM

I'm in! Have fun, John.

Buck | June 13, 2007 09:10 PM

A T. rex would never attack a lawyer: professional courtesy from one rapacious carnivore to another.

I showed my 15-year old the link to the Creation Museum and he laughed until I reminded him that his bible-thumpy grandparents on the other side of the family were some of the original Jim and Tammy Faye Baker supporters and will probably want to drag him there.

TransDutch | June 13, 2007 09:55 PM

According to Godaddy, Churchofthesufferingscalzi.com is still available. Just sayin...

Steve Buchheit | June 13, 2007 10:18 PM

Jim Wright, "Born Again Grip"


Okay, I gotta clean my screen off now.

Jim Wright | June 13, 2007 10:55 PM

Steve, What would Jesus do? Why he'd have the Born Again Grip(tm)! Perfect for Smiting Sinners with his trusty Bible Cannon (Sold Separately)

Man, I should have been in Marketing, except I have too much self esteem.

More Creation Museum Bathroom Graffiti: "For a little knowledge, call Eve 555-SINR. (She's original!)"

mensley | June 14, 2007 12:36 AM

You are all making the baby Jesus, errr Scalzi, cry.

Matt | June 14, 2007 12:44 AM

How about wearing a shirt saying

"I'm Charles Darwin and I have changed my mind."

You will probably get a hero's welcome when you go to the Creation Museum and they might use your picture as the poster boy for their advertising.

Melissa Siah | June 14, 2007 01:12 AM

Done. Consider yourself insulted as well as injured. :)

Nina A | June 14, 2007 02:53 AM


tceisele | June 14, 2007 08:56 AM

So, according to Christian's map, there are only 36 things to see in the Creation Science Museum. They say it cost $27 million to build, so that's $750,000 per thing. Eep. This is not what I would call efficent use of funds.

As a bit of perspective: I went to the Great Lakes Aquarium in Duluth, MN last weekend. I don't know what it cost to build, but I doubt it was as much as $27 million. They had way more than 36 things to see, and admission was only $10. Plus, for another $10, we got to see the Railroad Museum (with lots of Real Trains!), Children's Museum, and Historical Society exhibits that were practically next door. So, our $20 let us see *lots* more good stuff than the Creation Science museum has.

Janiece | June 14, 2007 09:20 AM

Not that I take glee in your suffering, Scalzi, but I have donated my $20.00 for the cause and I can't wait for the report. Bwhaaahaaaa!

Patrick Shepherd | June 14, 2007 09:55 AM

Donation made. Looking forward to pictures and your inimitable commentary.

Luke | June 14, 2007 10:26 AM

tceisele: the difference is, the natural history museum didn't have to manufacture their natural history.

Devin L. Ganger | June 14, 2007 12:28 PM

Hey, don't just hate us. InstaPundit linked to you too.

tceisele | June 14, 2007 02:22 PM

Luke: hey, I think you might be right. As far as I can see, their web page doesn't seem to acually mention anything as crass as actual *fossils*. Trying to come up with stuff from whole cloth must be insanely expensive.

Mfitz | June 14, 2007 02:24 PM

***So, according to Christian's map, there are only 36 things to see in the Creation Science Museum. They say it cost $27 million to build, so that's $750,000 per thing. Eep. This is not what I would call efficent use of funds.***

Well they did have to put in water, sewer and power lines to the sight, which is near the flipping middle of nowhere.

They do have the largest collection of life size dinosaurs in the country, some at the sermon on the mount, and a high tech security fence to keep out Darwinist attack teams.

Plus, Did you see the size of the Corporate Offices? Almost the same size as the exhibit area.

Check the map again I'm not kidding.

bonnie-ann black | June 14, 2007 02:57 PM

>>Well they did have to put in water, sewer and power lines to the sight, which is near the flipping middle of nowhere.

hey! they didn't have none of those fancy/schmancy things in the Garden, did they? what do we need 'em fer now? and how come the employees and us ain't a-wearin' fig leaves? i'm suspecting these folks aren't as all-fired believin' in the perfection of God's creation as they claim.

bathrooms! huh. running water! ha!

The Other Daniel | June 14, 2007 03:04 PM

Just sent $10.00 to the cause. Make sure to wear something ambiguous on your visit, just to watch the confused expressions - Like an "Evolution - Think about it!" T-Shirt. That way, everybody suffers. I can't wait for the trip report.

jess a. | June 14, 2007 04:09 PM

Scalzi, what if I offer to donate my time?

I'm living in Dayton now, but ever since I realized that the Creation Museum was opening within striking distance of my home (we just moved up from Oxford, OH), I've been tempted to go.

I'll tag along with your (apparently impending) visit. That would truly be an experience (for me) to remember.

Anne C. | June 14, 2007 05:33 PM

I agree with Sally Lou Liz, this smacks of schadenfreude. We wouldn't know so much about that delight if you hadn't educated us with schadenfreude pie (and various other posts). This is *so* a situation of your own making, which is like chocolate whipped cream on the pie. Not necessary, but oh, so good. Muahahahahahaha!

On another note, I like how the museum numbering starts on the upper level and goes to the lower level for the later numbers. Very appropriate for the descent of man.

Mfitz | June 15, 2007 09:29 AM

***how come the employees and us ain't a-wearin' fig leaves? ***

That's not somehthing you want to see, seriously this is the corn-fed mid-west.

Tom | June 15, 2007 12:57 PM

I'm not evil enough to give 6.66 so I just gave 5 bucks

Eric B | June 15, 2007 02:08 PM

Thanks for posting the picture. It made my day. To further the merriment, Wikipedia now has an entry on Lolrex. Enjoy, but behave yourselves.

Eric B | June 15, 2007 02:17 PM

And it's already been deleted. Soreheads.

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