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June 05, 2007

The Album I Have That You Don't


Jesse & the 8th Street Kidz by Jesse Camp.

Top that, fools.

Posted by john at June 5, 2007 05:41 PM

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Dan | June 5, 2007 05:53 PM

I'd have to dig, but somewhere in my collection, I have the album Megaforce by the band 707.

Does that top it?

Jon H | June 5, 2007 05:55 PM

I have Ally Sheedy's book of poetry, "Yesterday I Saw The Sun".


To ME.

In my presence.

Without an additional surcharge.

John Scalzi | June 5, 2007 05:57 PM

Jon H:

That's totally not an album.

Nathan | June 5, 2007 06:04 PM

Well I have scads of things that are totally not albums.

John Scalzi | June 5, 2007 06:05 PM

Most things are, in fact, totally not albums.

Adam Rakunas | June 5, 2007 06:07 PM

Seasame Disco.

On vinyl.

Adam Rakunas | June 5, 2007 06:08 PM

I mean Sesame.

Sorry, got carried away with the awesome.

Berry | June 5, 2007 06:10 PM

I have Who Cares by Severe Tire Damage (www.std.org), but, well. who cares?

Tim Walters | June 5, 2007 06:22 PM

[Muhammad] Ali and His Gang vs. Mr. Tooth Decay. I gots one.

Jeff Hentosz | June 5, 2007 06:33 PM

A (vinyl) soundtrack/cast album of the '80s UK TV show Spitting Image. For those who don't remember it, it was a puppet ensemble (ugly, ugly puppets) who did political satire. Genesis used them in the video for "Land of Confusion." The album cover features truly horrendous puppet caricatures of the royal family and really-truly bad typography not unlike the new London Olympics logo.

I honestly have no idea how I acquired it or why.

Berry | June 5, 2007 06:34 PM

Check it, biatches!

Spider-Man and the Lizard read-along record book. And that bit o' vinyl was square.

The Hobbit read-along record book.

Jeff | June 5, 2007 06:39 PM

How about "An Evening at the Zoo" by Lord Groovy and the Psychodelic Zombiez?

The question really is, how is "topping that" judged? I think mine's pretty obscure, but how is that measured?

Yes, I'm a scientist. I worry about these sorts of things...

Brad J | June 5, 2007 06:43 PM

I have "It's a Small World Holiday". A 15-minute track alternating between "It's a Small World" and "Jingle Bells".

I believe it's been reprinted recently for use at Guantanamo.

Randy Johnson | June 5, 2007 06:46 PM

I have William Shatner Sings(shudder). How does that rank?

Tim Walters | June 5, 2007 06:52 PM

The question really is, how is "topping that" judged?

I don't think obscurity is enough; goofiness would seem to be required. I have plenty of Eighties local-band product, for example--singles of which 500 were pressed and 450 are still in someone's garage--but I didn't really consider them when responding, because the response would be "mmm, okay" rather than "whoa!".

But Balloons For The Dog were awesome. Seriously.

John Scalzi | June 5, 2007 06:57 PM

Yeah, it's not just enough that the band is obscure; there has to be that "why do you own that?" moment involved.

Adam Rakunas | June 5, 2007 07:02 PM

Tim, I have that one, too! Mr. Tooth Decay and Sugar Cuber used to scare the crap out of me, though I think it was their background music more than their foul habits. There are just some things you shouldn't let five-year-olds listen to.

handdrummer | June 5, 2007 07:16 PM

Sebastian Cabot, Actor/ Bob Dylan, Poet; a dramatic reading with music

a pristine lp, played just the once....

His version of It Ain't Me Babe set the standard for William Shatner's later albums.

(to those of you born after 1965, Sebastian Cabot played the butler Mr. French on the TV show A Family Affair)

Mia | June 5, 2007 07:31 PM


Peter and the Wolf as performed by Wendy Carlos and Weird Al Yankovik.

Or a couple of Just So stories performed by Bobby McFerrin and Jack Nicholson.

Patrick | June 5, 2007 07:40 PM

Would BEING one of the 8th street kidz qualify as topping that?

I'm not admitting.. err.. CLAIMING anything. I'm just curious.

Michael Rawdon | June 5, 2007 07:42 PM

John, you know that Jesse Camp album is available on iTunes, right?

I have Men Without Hats' Folk of the 80s Part III on CD (only 2000 were printed), so that's not bad. But, it was widely available on LP, so I'm sure someone else here has one.

I also have their EP Freeways on audiocassette (and ripped to computer, and burned to CD). I bet no one else here has that one.

Bookninja | June 5, 2007 07:51 PM

The Creation 10" by My Bloody Valentine that includes "Slow". Fat, velvety,delicious sound.

Chang, for rizzle. | June 5, 2007 07:55 PM


I have "Shanter Live." With the poster. Signed.

You may bow down now, plebes.

John Scalzi | June 5, 2007 08:02 PM

Michael Rawdon:

I'm not surprised it's on iTunes. But has anyone bought it there?

Steve Buchheit | June 5, 2007 08:53 PM

Billy and the Boingers (aka Deathtongue) flexi-single "I'm a Boinger" and "U Stink But I Love U."

And if that fails, somewhere in the vinyls is "The Muppet Show Album."

Jess Nevins | June 5, 2007 08:56 PM

Osmond Family's Brainstorm. Autographed by all of them following their boffo performance at the Allentown (PA) County Fairgrounds in the summer of '77.

It was the first non-classical concert I ever saw. I was eleven.

Chang, for rizzle. | June 5, 2007 09:07 PM

Fuck. I meant Shatner Live.

Everybody's got Shanter Live.

Anonymous | June 5, 2007 09:15 PM

Well, I have not one, but two Manowar albums, on cassette and CD.

cathy | June 5, 2007 09:24 PM

Chipmunk Punk. On Tape.

Jenny Rae Rappaport | June 5, 2007 09:54 PM

It's not as good as Sesame Disco, but my parents still have my Big Bird exercise album, circa 1983.

Chris Gerrib | June 5, 2007 10:08 PM

I guess my CD of Robyn is Here isn't at all exotic.

Patrick | June 5, 2007 10:34 PM

Jenny, if your parents still USE it for exercise and you can get that on YouTube, I'm pretty sure you win.

hac | June 5, 2007 10:45 PM

"The Road Goes Ever On", J.R.R. Tolkien & Donald Swann, the original LP edition.

Jon H | June 5, 2007 10:48 PM

"That's totally not an album."

Um. Yes it is. It's, um, so bad it results in auditory phenomena?

But, really, when you're talking about items of transcendent badness, why quibble about media?

DavidK | June 5, 2007 11:07 PM

I own the vinyl version of the Xanadu soundtrack - the original gatefold slipcover one. I also have the Xanadu soundtrack on CD - the Japanese import, because the US had enough sense not to release it on CD. The DVD's sitting on my shelf, too...

Dennis Taylor | June 5, 2007 11:30 PM

None of you can touch me.

Try these two on for size:

The Coolies--Doug, a rock opera about a skinhead short order cook who murders a transvestite chef and becomes famous using her stolen recipes.

A PINK VINYL copy of Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'"

Nancy | June 5, 2007 11:47 PM

Hey, Steve, I have that Billy and the Boingers single too. Sorry, does that downgrade your score if two people admit to owning it?

cherie priest | June 5, 2007 11:49 PM

Well ... over at my Dad's (lest I contaminate my own living quarters with it) I own a copy of Paint a Rainbow In Your Heart -- the 1980-somethingoranother Rainbow Brite album -- ON VINYL.


[:: headdesk ::]

Dr. Phil | June 6, 2007 12:32 AM

Okay, DavidK, 'fess up time:

Which side of the Xanadu vinyl do you like better -- the ONJ side or the ELO side? (You have to like own this album to be able to answer this question -- grin.)

Dr. Phil

Corby Kennard | June 6, 2007 12:33 AM

Abba - Story

Tape purchased in Italy in some alley-fronting music store back when I was in the Navy. Pretty much has every Abba song ever made.

Corby Kennard | June 6, 2007 12:36 AM

Speaking as one who does own the Xanadu album, I prefer the ELO side, although Ms. Newton-John's side did have quite a bit of play time as well.

enegim | June 6, 2007 12:51 AM

Songs of Thomas Hardy, with music by Galt McDermot and Gerome Ragni. (I think. I'm too lazy to go hunt up the album.)

mensley | June 6, 2007 12:53 AM

The original K-tel "Goofy Greats" album, the one from the early 70s, not the comtemptably pusillanimous retreads from the 80s and 90s.

Joe Byrd and the Field Hippies' The American Metaphysical Circus (look it up)

The first Environments ocean sounds disc that kicked off the whole natural sounds movement.

An REM flexy that was in some magazine that I don't feel like looking up right now.

A whole stack of really terrible 60s party music 45s that should never, ever see the light of day, inherited.

And, yes, the Xanadu soundtrack (it's all glorious) and the Billy and the Boingers flexy.

mensley | June 6, 2007 01:00 AM

I think the Xanadu soundtrack really encapsulated most of Western philosophy... discuss...

Deb Geisler | June 6, 2007 01:09 AM

"Mirror Stars," by the Fabulous Poodles.

"The First Family," Vaughn Meader.

And a real find, "Haldeman, Erlichman, Mitchell & Dean," by the CREEP, on a 45.

Karl Cook | June 6, 2007 01:47 AM

...and the reason John has this is:
1. He managed the band?
2. He's in the band?
3. Krissy managed the band?
4. Krissy's in the band?
5. Scalzi's pharmacist used it to fill an ear wax buster perscription?

DavidK | June 6, 2007 02:01 AM

Regarding the best side of the Xanadu soundtrack -

I had to write a book report in 10th grade, just after the movie and album came out. Being a teenager, naturally I left the report until the weekend before it was due. Being a teenager and feeling invincible, I had boasted I was going to do the report on a series, and not just a book. So, over the course of two days, I read the first three books in Philip Jose Farmer's Riverworld series, and then wrote a twenty page report on it. I spent the whole time sitting on my bed, reading and jotting down notes.

Here's the kicker - for the whole time, I listened to Xanadu through my headphones, with the record player set to repeat. Every few hours, I'd flip it over. To this day, if I hear the opening notes of any of the songs, I can sing the song word-for-word, badly but accurately. I'm still mildly surprised to NOT hear that faint needle scratch on 'Don't Walk Away' that was on my old vinyl record...

Which side's better? I'm so far past that, it doesn't have any meaning!

Tania | June 6, 2007 03:09 AM

Pac-Man Fever by Buckner and Garcia. I know the words to the songs. This could be another one of the reasons I rarely drink. Would you want an inebriated woman belting out "Do the Donkey Kong"? I thought not.

I also have some Jem and the Holograms tapes in storage. Stolen/permanently borrowed property. Maybe I'll give them back to the original owner when they surface. That'll be good for a laugh.

Denis Moskowitz | June 6, 2007 07:53 AM

I of course have the Xanadu album (ELO is better) as well as the aforementioned Coolies' "Doug". Also LMNOP's "elemen opee elpee".

Steve Buchheit | June 6, 2007 08:07 AM

Nancy, "Sorry, does that downgrade your score if two people admit to owning it?"

Probably, so I'm going to up my ante.

I have albums by Hawkwind, with readings by Michael Moorcock (I think that's on "Space Ritual"). My brother and I bought these together, and he's got some and I got some. I'd have to dig through the vinyls to see which I have. I also have a few CDs (I know I have "Church of Hawkwind" and "Levitation."

And if that doesn't do it I have a few CDs of Tangerine Dream.

Rob Thornton | June 6, 2007 08:52 AM

I think I can get up into the Top 10.

How about two Rod McKuen records--on purpose.

BTW, I have the Joe Byrd album on CD. It's nice but I would go with the United States of America record (worth a looksee, especially if you like to dance around the prog/psych boundary).

Jim | June 6, 2007 08:54 AM

Wow "Pac-Man Fever" is available on iTunes. I may have to get an account after all.

Nathan | June 6, 2007 09:16 AM

I'm proud to say that not only do I not OWN any of the aforementioned hideousness, I don't think I've ever had my ears subjected to any of them.

Regardless of the rules Scalzi established, I gotta think that means I win.

Steve Buchheit | June 6, 2007 10:12 AM

Nathan, you really have to take a listen to some Hawkwind. I suggest "Sonic Attack," "Joker at Your Gate," or "Hyperdrive."

michael | June 6, 2007 11:35 AM

Plasmatics - "New Hope for the Wretched"

Given that they were really a visual concept, and played for shit, owning one of their albums is a complete waste of vinyl and space. Er, but i treasure this artifact from BCD (before CD) more than any other.

marciepooh1976 | June 6, 2007 11:49 AM

I think I still have the Gremlins read along 45s, with the books (5 books = the movie), somewhere at my folks house. These were sold at some fast food chain so I must have begged and pleaded to get them because we didn't eat out that much. I remember listening to them and rereading those books w/o the records over and over.

I wish I still had that Asia album and the Men Without Hats single. Not that I have anyway to play them.

MikeB | June 6, 2007 11:51 AM

'fess-up time

How about The United States of America LP
and Walter (later Wendy) Carlos - Switched-on Bach

I have about 3000 vinyl albums stored so don't make me go down there!

Bob | June 6, 2007 02:31 PM

I have my Geography thesis committee member's album of White gospel music. Top that!

Carol Elaine | June 6, 2007 02:43 PM

Wow, I don't have any of that stuff. The closest I come is an 1949 33RPM of Hansel and Gretel with Basil Rathbone as the Narrator. I also have a vinyl collection of episodes from Sherlock Holmes radio series with, of course, Basil Rathbone.

Though, now that I think of it, I do have several old Co-Star: The Recording Acting Game LPs, including one with Virginia Mayo. I can't remember who else I have, but, oddly enough, none with Rathbone, though he did one.

BTW, I'm only 41. I was an odd adolescent...

Laura | June 6, 2007 02:55 PM

Marciepooh1976 -- I think you can find Asia on iTunes, too.

Steve Buchheit | June 6, 2007 03:07 PM

Bob, In a former job I used to design video and CD covers for the Gaithers and their friends. Yeah, white gospel, got that covered.

Vincent | June 6, 2007 03:26 PM

Attila by Attila

Billy Joel was SO metal...

Jenny Rae Rappaport | June 6, 2007 05:26 PM

Patrick said, "Jenny, if your parents still USE it for exercise and you can get that on YouTube, I'm pretty sure you win."

Unfortunately, they don't use it for exercise, although I have distinct memories of my mother exercising along with me, when I was a child. But, oooh, the temptation to get them to do so, and tape it for YouTube.... such a large temptation... =)

Tim Walters | June 6, 2007 06:06 PM

How about two Rod McKuen records--on purpose.

I cancel you on that.

BTW, I have the Joe Byrd album on CD. It's nice but I would go with the United States of America record (worth a looksee, especially if you like to dance around the prog/psych boundary).

The first track on the Byrd album is quite good, though.

And if that doesn't do it I have a few CDs of Tangerine Dream.

My favorite band in high school! And I still like 'em, at least up until 1981 or so when they stopped taking drugs.

Djscman | June 6, 2007 08:33 PM

Sid--er, Steve and Nancy:
"U Stink But I Love U" was the Billy and the Boingers B-side? It wasn't "Run Over Lionel Richie With A Tank"? Too bad! That song never lost its currency.

I also used to have that Weird Al/Wendy Carlos Peter and the Wolf/Carnival of the Animals, Part II album, until it was lost. Maybe Mia ended up with the same cassette?

I would like to read a new Ayn Rand novel, wherein one of her characters constantly poses the question, "Who is Jesse Camp?" The novel can explore the merits of letting the masses elect a video jockey vs. the VJ choosing himself through the precept of rational self-interest. Or what would be even better (and more germaine to this thread) is if Camp did the same thing, but as a don't-call-it-a-comeback concept album.

Patrick | June 6, 2007 09:22 PM

Jenny - If you play it, they will exercise.

You must! For the children, Jenny! Do it for the starving children who don't have Nintendo Wiis(How the hell do you pluralize that?)

Dane | June 6, 2007 11:26 PM

My best one is an electronica album. It is press titled "ReR Records Quarterly Volume 2 Number 3". It has a rippin' track on there from Miriodor calls Moyen-age.

Came with a magazine outlining the history of electronica music. It was produced October 1988.

Top that...

Dane | June 6, 2007 11:44 PM

Here's a link that mentions this awesome record and Miriodor appearing on that release...


Tim Walters | June 7, 2007 02:01 AM

I have Volume 3 #1. I don't know if later or earlier numbers get you more points. I also have their sampler with the title in glitter that sheds everywhere. (I have the Miriodor album with "Middle Ages", for that matter. Quite nice.)

In a more WTF mode, I have RRR-500, an album of nothing but lock grooves, 250 per side.

Lee Whiteside | June 7, 2007 02:04 AM

I have a lot of obscure christmas records, including the Max Headroom Christmas 45, Merry Christmas Santa Claus (You're a Lovely Guy) and of course, the B-side of Paul McCartney's Wonderful Christmastime, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reggae (an instrumental reggae version of the classic holiday song).

The original Disco Tex and His Sex-O-Lettes LP on vinyl.

And for the Fabulous Poodles, an audio tape of a live radio broadcast in Kansas City where one of their encores was a country and western version of the Sex Pistol's Anarchy in the U.K.!

Lee Whiteside

Jon H | June 7, 2007 02:52 AM

" It wasn't "Run Over Lionel Richie With A Tank"? Too bad! That song never lost its currency."

Actually, yes it did.

It's been devalued in favor of "Run Over Nicole Richie With A Tank".

Jon H | June 7, 2007 02:56 AM

Okay, Mr. Scalzi. You win.

Here's a bad CD.

Anton LaVey, founder of the International Church of Satan: Satan Takes a Holiday

Featuring "Hello, Central, Give Me No-Man's Land", "Band Organ Medley", and "Honolulu Baby", in addition to the title track.

Pat J | June 7, 2007 08:50 AM

I have a "Snoopy and the Royal Guardsmen" album, featuring "Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron" and two other Snoopy songs on Side A, and a bunch of Royal Guardsmen songs (like the immortal classic "Down Behind the Lines") on Side B. Unfortunately, the record's warped, so it doesn't play so good no more.

Growing up, my parents owned a square, flexible record of whale songs that came in an issue of National Geographic.

Nathan E. Lilly | June 7, 2007 09:41 AM

A Space Western/Cow-punk (yes, cow-punk) concept album from the 1980's... Sundown on Venus by the Jet Black Berries!

Patrick | June 7, 2007 10:35 AM

Anyone else ever get Jesse Camp and Jesse Dart swapped in their mind?

Anonymous | June 7, 2007 08:35 PM

'The Dissection and Reconstruction of Music From the Past as performed by the Inmates of Lalo Schifrin's Demented Ensemble as a Tribute to the Memory of the Marquis De Sade'

which is the coolest album title ever.

John | June 7, 2007 11:05 PM

Pat Boone, In a Metal Mood.

Kymm | June 13, 2007 03:13 PM

The Lenny and Squiggy album, "Lenny and the Squigtones". And a fine fine album it is!

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