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June 02, 2007

In Which I Speak of an Unspeakable Atrocity

For my mother-in-law, and at her request, I just burned a CD of 20 Jimmy Buffet tracks, ten of which -- every other track -- are "Margaritaville."

Every. Other. Track.

May God forgive me.

Posted by john at June 2, 2007 12:59 AM

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COOP | June 2, 2007 01:14 AM

That would get you fired from Abu Ghraib.

jmnlman | June 2, 2007 01:24 AM

Umm why every other song? Inquiring minds must know.

Tom Scudder | June 2, 2007 02:01 AM

Right. I mean. That means you have to find ten songs other than margaritaville to put on the cd. Are there ten songs other than margaritaville?

Heather | June 2, 2007 02:01 AM

Cuz she LOVES it DUH!!!!!

Tania | June 2, 2007 03:40 AM

It's your own damn fault.

Remember that.

Tania | June 2, 2007 03:44 AM

Drat. My obvious quip has fallen into the moderation queue.

Tania | June 2, 2007 03:50 AM

Or, I'm a moron. Sorry. 9 hours of sleep in the last 3 days.

Oh noes. Now I want to go play with Jimmy Buffet lyrics over on the Making Light lolcats thread. Damn you.

I can haz cheezburger in parydz?

Mule Face | June 2, 2007 04:07 AM

Pleasing your mother-in-law is the soul of wisdom. Good boy.

Dorie | June 2, 2007 06:12 AM

Oh dear. But does she listen to Radio Margaritaville and send you links to the different songs while she does? My mother does. I'm sooooo lucky!

Chang, for rizzle. | June 2, 2007 07:32 AM

I did something like this one.
I broke down and bought my wife James Taylor's Greatest Hits. I despised him at the time. Now I secretly like him. Ooops. Not anymore.

Then I bought my wife Lenny Kravitz, after I was told it would improve our marriage. it did.

But I still despise Lenny Kravitz and always will.

Elaine | June 2, 2007 07:45 AM

Greater love hath no son-in-law....

Chad Orzel | June 2, 2007 07:48 AM

I could be worse.
Ten copies of "Why Don't We Get Drunk," for example...

Dane | June 2, 2007 07:51 AM

Now if the only other song on the CD was a repeating "Changes in Attitude", I would be forced to excommunicate you from the brotherhood. It would be a step too far...

John Scalzi | June 2, 2007 08:50 AM


"Umm why every other song? Inquiring minds must know."

Actually, there's a not-insane reason, which is that my mother-in-law is in a parade this morning, and the theme of the float she's accompanying is "Margaritaville." So in this case have the song show up in every other song slot is the sane choice because the alternative is just putting "margaritaville" on a loop, which would drive everyone on the float utterly mad by the end.

That said, it was still a bad thing to do. VERY bad.

Dan | June 2, 2007 08:54 AM

Sounds like my kind of parade.

Pirate looking on 40 | June 2, 2007 09:12 AM

If it were my kind of parade, the theme would be "Why don't we get drunk..."

Sally Lou Liz | June 2, 2007 09:54 AM

Oh dear god. I thought that was quite funny, and mentioned the cd to my husband. Read the post verbatim, because of course it comes across better that way. Now, sadly, he thinks it is funny to run through the house singing Margaritaville at the top of his lungs. Somehow, I am sure this is John's fault. Just so you know. When I have to kill him, I am sure this will be justifiable homicide. Who wants to start the petition?

AliceB | June 2, 2007 09:55 AM

Not only will the deity forgive you, but will give extra gold stars for doing it! (Which you can wear on your forehead, the way my daughter did, at the right age.)

Dave | June 2, 2007 10:04 AM

God might forgive you, but the RIAA won't.

Expect them to come knocking on Monday.



TexasPatrick | June 2, 2007 10:09 AM

Sure, God may forgive you . . . of every other of your sins and peccadillos. Hope you got those lined up juuuuusst right.

Omaha Lisa | June 2, 2007 10:42 AM

John, you are a great son-in-law!

It could have been worse....
Copacabana by Barry Manilow

Jeff Hentosz | June 2, 2007 11:02 AM

Or the unofficial theme of my prom: "Don't Touch Me There" by The Tubes

J | June 2, 2007 11:05 AM

Wow. That's.... I think I would kill myself if I needed to sit through that.

Chang, for rizzle. | June 2, 2007 11:45 AM

Hentosz, that was the theme of my high school days. Sigh. And sometimes marriage. Ahem.

Jonathan Vos Post | June 2, 2007 12:00 PM

I'd had too much champagne, that's my excuse. At my brother Andy's wedding, the band asked for requests. To the mortification of the older generation, and the amusement of my generation and the youngsters, I shouted out:

"The Dead Kennedies: 'Too Drunk to Fuck!'"

JonathanMoeller | June 2, 2007 12:34 PM

Just close your eyes and think of England.

Frederick Heald | June 2, 2007 01:42 PM

iTunes shows 67-ish (okay more like 40 or 50) different (maybe) versions of Margaritiaville. Shouldn't you have thrown in a couple of covers?

The Ty Billings one is sort of mournful. Freddy Fender's sort of rockin. The Lounge-o-Leers are frenetic and I think someone replaced their salt with Peruvian marching powder. Reggie Paul has that latin-singing-english edge. Ray Pasnen sounds almost like Bruce Springsteen. Lung Cookie (yuck) and Todd Snyder are not quite punk. You've got "Jeff the Drunk" where you should have known it would be horribly off-key. John Valby is just bizarre and obscene. And there should be at least one pure steel drum version.

There are even 14 different ones (maybe) by Buffett himself.

But you don't want to antagonize the parrotheads.

John Scalzi | June 2, 2007 01:49 PM


"iTunes shows 67-ish (okay more like 40 or 50) different (maybe) versions of Margaritiaville. Shouldn't you have thrown in a couple of covers?"

You want me to pay for "Margaritaville" more than once?

Captain Button | June 2, 2007 02:45 PM

At my college Orientation, one of the Deans made a speech based on "Margaritaville".

Kero aka Kevin | June 2, 2007 03:23 PM

Back in college a friend of mine had me make her a tape of Somebody by Depeche Mode. A 90 minute tape. Damn dual tape boom box. I'm surprised no one died.

JerolJ | June 2, 2007 05:24 PM

In the pursuit of a happy spouse I have seen James Taylor in concert more than I have seen any other artist. I also once skipped a U2 concert for Davy Jones of the Monkees. I feel your pain John.

Torvo | June 2, 2007 06:07 PM

Why not just teach her the wisdom of the Infinite Repeat button?

Steve Buchheit | June 2, 2007 06:42 PM

The things we endure for our parents (in law or otherwise). Hey, she gave you Krissy. It's the least you can do to repay her. But, yeah, you could of at least mixed in the various versions (not necessarily covers, I think there's two live releases and an extended dance mix).

CaseyL | June 2, 2007 09:36 PM

A parade?

Darn. I thought it would be for a drinking party.

Sue | June 3, 2007 01:50 AM

And there are *so* many other better tunes by Jimmy :>. But you're a good son-in-law.

Turn the lady onto Radiomargaritaville -- she'll love you even more (can be found through iTunes, either mac or pc, it works on both).

Yea, my kid's mother listens to it too :>.

Nathan | June 3, 2007 01:03 PM

I once did a 10 hour road trip with a friend and his wife to attend a wedding. Marcy was in charge of the music and every 2nd 8-track (yes, I said 8-track) she stuck in the machine was the same horrible Dan Fogelberg schlock she was in love with. Over and over and over and over again.

When we stopped for gas, I put the tape under the rear wheel of the car.


Mike | June 4, 2007 01:26 AM

All I can say is (I'm a parrot head since the 70's) "You go girl!!!"

Tor | June 4, 2007 10:15 AM

Did you include Buffet's "Please Take Your Drunken 15 Year Old Girlfriend Home?"

It's soooo Buffet....

Kristy | June 4, 2007 09:54 PM

Yipes. The very thought makes me want to jab something through my skull.

Pam | June 6, 2007 10:30 PM

Hey, that works for me... I'm going to the Buffett concert on the 23rd in Pittsburgh. Alright, I'll admit, even I would go a little crazy from hearing Margaritaville that many times. Personally, I'm a fan of a number of his softer ballads and more intriguing story-tale songs. Has she ever heard "Chanson Pour Les Petits Enfants", "Jolly Mon", "Distantly In Love", or "Breathe In, Breath Out"?

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