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December 29, 2006

And Now, On an Entirely Self-Serving Note

Hey, now that I think about it, why wasn't I tagged by Microsoft for their nifty "here's a laptop with some Vista on it" promotion? I totally have a higher Technorati ranking than most of these dudes! I get 25,000 visitors a day! I've got a punchy, engaging prose style! Clearly, there was an error in the selection process. They should send me that laptop with Vista on it. Also, Office 2007. And an Xbox 360 with the optional HD-DVD drive and Gears of War. And a pony. Which I know is not something that Microsoft usually produces or markets, but, you know. They have to make it up to me.

Indeed, I don't know why I'm not entirely flooded by tech gadgets from tech publicists and marketeers all the time. I am the disposable income demographic. That's all I'm saying. Tech folks, you know where I am, and you know how to get your stuff to me. I'll be waiting. Oh, yes. Waiting.

Posted by john at December 29, 2006 01:23 PM

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Billy Oblivion | December 29, 2006 01:53 PM

Your problem is that you seem to believe that honesty is a fairly good policy to follow. Given the state of (a) Microsoft Software and (b) Acer laptops honesty is probably NOT what they are looking for.

Chang who love eat brainz and watch Czechanimation! | December 29, 2006 01:58 PM

Dude, the only reason I am willing to break into the SF writing field is for the free swag.

Though, I understand you get it for all the other writing you've done. But SF swag must be the shizz.

Froonium Driven | December 29, 2006 02:05 PM

Scalzi - Indeed, I don't why I'm not entirely flooded by tech gadgets from tech publicists and marketeers all the time.[/quote]

I guess you just don't have the "know" for it.


Sorry, couldn't resist.

John Scalzi | December 29, 2006 02:07 PM


Redmond Reader | December 29, 2006 02:20 PM

Well some people in Redmond read your blog (and books). Billy's a bit bitter - and wrong but hey, you can't win them all.

sxKitten | December 29, 2006 02:53 PM

I'm picturing MS Pony1.0, but it's not pretty.

Scott Janssens | December 29, 2006 03:00 PM

re Pony 1.0: There's a saying in MS, "Quality is job 3.1."

re Office 2007: I've been using the beta. I don't know if it's worth the price of upgrading. Word's master doc feature is still craptacular. Saving in XML does more for me as a developer rather than user. Ribbon menu is nice though.

Nate Trost | December 29, 2006 03:03 PM

You're going to end up with a Zune.

And it will be a brown one.

John Scalzi | December 29, 2006 03:08 PM

Nate Trost:

Yeah, I saw the brown Zune and wondered if was made from corduroy. Which, you know, is not a good sign.

Alex | December 29, 2006 03:51 PM

This has the makings of a perfect case of be careful what you wish for. I see you getting the laptop and then the Whatever entry 30 days after about how you had just written the most inciteful entry ever for a blog, but, alas, the computer crashed.

John Scalzi | December 29, 2006 03:55 PM

Nah, I've done that already.

emgrasso | December 29, 2006 04:02 PM

Re: Pony 1.0

Does it have one hump or two?

Jim Wright | December 29, 2006 04:06 PM

Scalzi: "and a pony." As in a shiny red 2007 Ford Mustang type pony, I assume.

Timothy McClanahan | December 29, 2006 04:43 PM

Considering how lackluster your praise for that free cameraphone was awhile back, I can't say as I'm surprised. Get with the brownnosing, ya doof!

John Scalzi | December 29, 2006 04:48 PM

Jim Wright:

"As in a shiny red 2007 Ford Mustang type pony, I assume."

Well, this brings up the old "If Microsoft Made Cars" thing.

But, yes. Yes, I would take that pony. Yes.

Mark | December 29, 2006 05:03 PM

Be careful what you wish for. They might send you a shiny, new laptop with Vista and a new version of Microsoft Bob that uses a pony instead of a smiley face for the avatar.

John Scalzi | December 29, 2006 05:08 PM

That would be SO cool.

Steve Buchheit | December 30, 2006 07:25 AM

It must be that "truth and honesty" policy you have. uSoft wants none of that.

Karl Cook | December 30, 2006 03:29 PM


Good post! It and the comments gave me two LOL moments - 'And a pony' was the first, sxKitten's MS Pony 1.0 was the second -that one had the house resounding in peals of laughter.
As for getting on the swag distribution lists- maybe you have to bait 'em.
Like they bait for sharks (and lawyers)- throw out some chum and see if you can get a little churn...

rantingnerd | December 30, 2006 08:52 PM

To quote a pair of friends:

Friend 1: I want a pony!

Friend 2: Okay, but we'll have to freeze most of it.

Froonium Driven | December 30, 2006 10:06 PM

Dagnabbit, you weren't supposed to fix it. Ruined a perfectly good joke... :-P

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