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December 10, 2006

Please to Enjoy This Seasonal Photo Set, or Else

Athena poses in her Christmas dress. This is primarily for the grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins, but there's nothing stopping the rest of you from checking out the set, too. I should note the battle axe appears only once.

Posted by john at December 10, 2006 07:48 PM

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Diplomachismo | December 10, 2006 08:04 PM

I suppose soon you'll come clean that that is in fact not your daughter, simply some neighbor kid you are using to make a point to yet another person who doubts your readerships gullibility.

Lie to me once...

Lisa | December 10, 2006 08:14 PM

You think kitty is just scoping out the couch....

Actually, she's making plans for that 6' pine scented cat toy you've installed in the living room for her.

grant | December 10, 2006 08:41 PM

I can't wait to see the photoshops that roll in from this.

Dan | December 10, 2006 08:54 PM

Do I really want to know why you keep a battle axe lying around?

John Scalzi | December 10, 2006 09:11 PM

Well, doesn't everyone have one?

Regan | December 10, 2006 09:41 PM

This won't surprise you, but I love it. I'm not sure, however, if she's defending the glacier of stuffed polar bears back there or planning on obtaining herself a rug.

(what? there's no collective noun for stuffed polar bears, so I'm allowed to make one up...)

John Scalzi | December 10, 2006 10:03 PM

In fact, Regan, defending the bears that is exactly what she said she was doing when I gave her the battle axe.

Chang, who gets nothing done without BRAINZ | December 10, 2006 10:23 PM


It's like you want the terrosists to win!

Kid = teh cute.

Janice in GA | December 10, 2006 10:27 PM

That is a big-ass dog! An Akita, yes?

Janice in GA
dog person

John Scalzi | December 10, 2006 11:09 PM

Yes, she's an Akita.

KevinQ | December 10, 2006 11:37 PM

I like the whole scene: The tree, the polar bears, the Christmas boobies on the wall...


John Scalzi | December 10, 2006 11:57 PM

Hey, now. That's an Edvard Munch print.

Nathan | December 11, 2006 12:25 AM

Well, at least John Ashcroft had the decency to have boobies covered in the background of his photos. I am HORRIFIED, sir. HORRIFIED.

Nathan | December 11, 2006 12:27 AM

Nice battleaxe, though.

Kate Baker | December 11, 2006 12:36 AM

Is that what you're actually sending to the relatives?

I LOVE it. My kids are upside down and making funny faces instead of some plastic smile and set up pose.

Athena is adorable, yet terrifying! Exactly what you want to say on a Christmas card.

"I in UR houz, stealzin UR prezentz nd drikin UR 3ggnog!"

Kevin Stampfl | December 11, 2006 01:47 AM

Does Athena know the origin of that axe? It's got a relief of Odin's eight-legged steed Sleipner!

grhm | December 11, 2006 03:43 AM

Man, your cat looks way pissed off - laser red eyes!

Martyn Taylor | December 11, 2006 08:18 AM

Does her axe have fake blood inside, like my daughter's? (at least, I hope its fake!)

John Scalzi | December 11, 2006 08:21 AM

Your daughter has fake blood inside?

Steve Buchheit, still twittering about the tittering | December 11, 2006 08:44 AM

Ah, nothing says Christmas like a precious child in a new holiday dress swinging a double bladed battle axe. Oh, the memories that brings back.

"What's with this lump of Coal, you cheap (deleted by the league of decency)? And you ate the cookies! I've got your naughty right here!"

Although young girls, polar bears and battle axes. Anybody else riffing on "East of the Sun, West of the Moon"?

Locomotive Breath | December 11, 2006 10:11 AM

Someone was pestering her in a bar and she didn't like it?

John Scalzi | December 11, 2006 10:17 AM

Yes, and that person was you.

jerry | December 11, 2006 10:37 AM

I must admit, while her cuteness usually really makes the photos, this time, the axe made this a great one.

Looking through my news/blog feeds this morning while having a cup of coffee, this one brought a smile to my face. :)

kurt | December 11, 2006 10:42 AM

Thats a very nice looking Akita you have there!!!!! We humans are so lucky to have such faithfull companions to enrich our lives!!!

Kaytie | December 11, 2006 11:55 AM

I love the one where Athena's mid-pounce. She's clearly a superhero, fighting teh ev1l while you sleep.

grhm | December 11, 2006 12:23 PM

Idle curiosity moment - given the way she's weilding the axe - Is Athena left-handed?

John Scalzi | December 11, 2006 12:37 PM

Yes. But -- like her mother -- she does some things with right hand. Axe in the left, gun in the right. You know.

Steve Buchheit | December 11, 2006 12:48 PM

But wielding with the opposite hand engaged with firing the pistol weakens the back-hand stroke with the axe, which, as we all know, is the most devistating strike as it tends to be toward the torso. Compared to forehand strokes which tend toward chopping/lopping of limbs. And I don't think Athena has enough wrist strength to make one-handed firing of the gun (of which you neglected to specify revolver (single or double action) or semi) antying near accurate.

Okay, now my brain is playing Weird Al's "Christmas at Ground Zero." Gotta go take care of that.

John Scalzi | December 11, 2006 12:50 PM

Steve Buchheit:

"And I don't think Athena has enough wrist strength to make one-handed firing of the gun (of which you neglected to specify revolver (single or double action) or semi) antying near accurate."

Well, there is a way of assessing Athena's defensive capabilities re: axe and gun. But you wouldn't like it.

Steve Buchheit | December 11, 2006 01:08 PM

Hey, hey, hey. I'm just commenting. No offense intended. I'm sure you've been training your little girl in the arts of iron fist, shaolin long-hand, and Eddie Eagle styles of combat. Any good parent would. I was just offering helpful suggestions. I wouldn't want her to strain anything at such a young age, or learn bad practices while trying to emulate her favorite comic characters.

Steve Buchheit - not looking in John's direction | December 11, 2006 01:08 PM

(am I out of firing range yet) :)

Tripp | December 11, 2006 02:22 PM

Is Athena left-handed?

Most superior people are. In some ways it is incredibly unfair to the handicapped 'righties,' but what are you going to do?

Martyn Taylor | December 11, 2006 03:24 PM

You think my daughter's going to let me get close enough to find out whether her blood is fake? Vin Deisel, perhaps; Karl Urban, probably; Johnny Depp, certainly. Me? No.

Steve Buchheit | December 11, 2006 09:16 PM

Tripp, "Is Athena left-handed?... Most superior people are."

How very true. :)

And, he said mashing up posts, being left-handed was special to one of the major empires of Meso-America still in power when the conquistadors set foot on those shores. In the hierarchy of warriors, only the left-handed could qualify for Jaguar Warrior. One of those completely worthless (until I became a writer) facts one learns in high school, or in my high school (because I was paying attention).

pcomeau | December 11, 2006 09:28 PM

So... Athena as a "positive" influence...

My 5 year old daughter saw the clip of Athena and the dred rabbit.

First thing, my daugter asked if she could get such a rabbit...

Then this week, while at Ikea, the 5 year old sees the plush sharks. Yup... she grabbed one and had it "attack" her.

Which I found cute in a odd sort of way. :-)

grhm | December 12, 2006 02:59 AM

Apologies for the spelling. Strike weilding/replace wielding (or now I think of it) brandish. Yes, brandish it is.

Heather Braum | December 12, 2006 11:00 AM

I can't believe you have a PLASTIC tree brother...SHAME SHAME SHAME

John Scalzi | December 12, 2006 11:07 AM

We have more than one tree, you know.

Tripp | December 12, 2006 11:23 AM


only the left-handed could qualify for Jaguar Warrior. One of those completely worthless . . . facts

Hardly worthless at all. We must be proud of our heritage of superiority, at least privately. Humility in public is also advised.

Steve Buchheit - not looking in John's direction | December 12, 2006 11:53 AM

Tripp, I keep trying to be humble, but it's really hard work. :)

Although, and I'll point this out for those right handers out there, sinister means "left handed." BWA-Ha-Ha-ha-haaa!

(This ego trip brought to you by a generous grant of the Franklin Foundation.)

Tripp | December 12, 2006 02:18 PM


Do you have any acting experience? That has helped me immensely, especially when conveying sincerity and humility.

Smurf | December 13, 2006 11:49 PM

Paula Bunyan

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