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December 10, 2006

Proof, Damn You

Given that I lied to you all about the sore toe thing, when I noted that I sore thumb, some of you have doubt that I actually had a sort thumb. So here's proof that I did indeed gnaw my thumbnail way down past what is truly advisable:


It feels better now, though.

Update, 6:49pm:
Whatever reader Pixelfish, responding to requests, offers up this photo mashup:


Posted by john at December 10, 2006 01:55 PM

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Miscellaneous Steve | December 10, 2006 02:15 PM

I dunno. I mean, how do we know it's your thumb? (See what happens when that trust thing gets all out of whack.)

John Scalzi | December 10, 2006 02:16 PM

Well, because my wife doesn't bite her nails.

Nathan | December 10, 2006 02:27 PM


Scalzi's thumb.

Just one more thing on the list of things that scare me crapless.

grant | December 10, 2006 02:30 PM


Dan | December 10, 2006 02:35 PM

Yowza! Maybe you should move onto your toes or something for a while, John.

John Scalzi | December 10, 2006 02:42 PM

You don't want to know about my toes, Dan.

Chang, who gets nothing done without BRAINZ | December 10, 2006 02:57 PM

DamN! That smarts! Ouch! I feel somehgow responsible. I suspect this would never have happened had I not sent you those... items.

Janice in GA | December 10, 2006 02:58 PM

Ow. Ow. Ow.


Steve Thorn | December 10, 2006 03:06 PM

It's that karma thing,..

Mary | December 10, 2006 03:19 PM

Ewww. Ewewewewewewewewewewewewew. Ewwww!!

All those in favour of Krissy taking John out for his first manicure (and an optional set of acrylic nails with an astronomical theme), raise your hands. *squints* Looks unanimous to me.

hugh57 | December 10, 2006 03:35 PM

If that's because of you gnawing your thumbnail, I have only one suggestion:

Don't do that. ;-)

John Scalzi | December 10, 2006 03:36 PM

Thanks, I'll get right on that.

Dan | December 10, 2006 03:58 PM

The thing is John, everyone tells you that it's wrong to gnaw on your fingernails, but no one ever says anything about thumbnails. So, I'm going to say that chewing your thumbnail is perfectly fine.

John Scalzi | December 10, 2006 04:10 PM

Thanks, Dan. It's nice to be enabled.

JonathanMoeller | December 10, 2006 04:57 PM

Just tape some bacon to the nail.

Jim Winter | December 10, 2006 04:57 PM

Dude, that hurts just looking at it.

Eddie | December 10, 2006 05:16 PM

Obviously you are a tortured soul.

Steve Buchheit | December 10, 2006 05:28 PM

Surely the sex scene wasn't that bad to write. I thought it was just the eyes rolling, I didn't know it was meant to be a nail bitter. Dang.

Say, ever try hot sauce on your fingernails, or garlic powder? It works wonders with stopping the cats.

John Scalzi | December 10, 2006 05:36 PM

I'm not of the opinion that biting my nails is an actual problem. They just shear off badly from time to time.

Steve Buchheit | December 10, 2006 05:40 PM

Ah, blaming the nail, eh?

John Scalzi | December 10, 2006 05:41 PM

Who else?

Mary | December 10, 2006 05:42 PM

You nibble on the nails you have, not the nails you want.

Dr. Phil | December 10, 2006 05:42 PM

Hmm... sympathy? Or indignant outrage for being abused as a part of an unwitting social engineering project? Or kudos for showing an Unbeliever the Power which is The Whatever?


Okay, sorry you did that to your thumbnail. The good new is the East German gives you a 9.5 for symmetrically ripping it all the way across -- I always go for the deep rip on one side only -- but the East German judge has issues with his past career with the secret police. And to rub salt in the wound, How's that new UPS unit on your computers doin'?

Dr. Phil

Heather Braum | December 10, 2006 05:47 PM

Kailani sez" OMG Uncle John!!! That's HORRIBLE!!!!"

Cassie | December 10, 2006 06:09 PM

All we need now is a cat photoshopped in saying "I'm in ur house, bitin' ur thumbnail" and it would be perfect.

PixelFish | December 10, 2006 06:17 PM

OWWWWWW. (You have the same bad habit as my John.)

Bobarino | December 10, 2006 06:20 PM

Sorry, but I spent all my sympathy on a bogus toe injury.

Rule of thumb: stop gnawing when you hit the skin line.

PixelFish | December 10, 2006 06:43 PM

Cassie: Your wish has been granted. Here is a Photoshopped Scalzi-cat with a thumbnail.


John Scalzi | December 10, 2006 06:53 PM

God, that's hysterical. I updated and put it up.

Nathan | December 10, 2006 07:06 PM

I think you need to show THAT to your interviewer. If this ain't one dedicated bunch of readers, I don't know what is.


jon H | December 10, 2006 07:19 PM

Aiiigh! The dreaded Pygmy Marmocat.

Harvey B | December 10, 2006 07:31 PM


John | December 10, 2006 08:02 PM

either your hands are huge, or your cat is much smaller than I thought.

Dan | December 10, 2006 08:49 PM

Man... Sharper Image always seems to come up with some new kick-ass personal grooming devices around this time of year, don't they?

Hygiene Kitty says, "Show Support! Keep 'em Short!"

Cassie | December 10, 2006 09:56 PM

Pixelfish, I am not worthy.

That was too cool. Thank you!

Paul | December 10, 2006 11:24 PM

Thanks for this, John. Now, whenever anyone complains about the picture of my toenails on my blog, I'll just send them here to be even more grossed out.

Kate Baker | December 11, 2006 12:29 AM

Did you ever notice, that when you bite your nails down to where it insanely hurts, it only lasts for about 20 minutes and then magically goes away?

I'm a chronic nail biter, so I literallyfeel your pain.

PixelFish | December 11, 2006 02:05 AM

Cassie, John, et al: Glad you likey. :)

Steve Buchheit, still twittering about the tittering | December 11, 2006 08:38 AM

PixelFish (bowing in your direction). That was fantabulous.

Mr. Manicure | January 18, 2007 06:17 AM

That looks so painful man. Please stop it ok...its bordering disgusting!

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