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December 02, 2006

Thump Pound Thump Pound Thump Pound CRASH

Yesterday's high winds peeled off more than an acceptable number of shingles from our roof, so right now there's a contractor up there putting down some new ones. I'm sure he's doing a fine job of it, but it sounds as if he's pushing livestock off my roof at three minute intervals. Or possibly just falling down a lot. I should probably go out and check to see if the guy's all right, but I guess as long as I keep hearing bangs and crashes everything's actually fine. And anyway, the guy's a bonded professional. He's been in the roof fixing/livestock pitching business a long time. I don't want to mess up his rhythm and/or be crushed by a falling pig.

That's my day at the moment.

Posted by john at December 2, 2006 01:08 PM

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Heather | December 2, 2006 01:15 PM

Not crazy enough to fix it yer self??? Have fun with the falling livestock!!

J | December 2, 2006 02:26 PM

While you spent your day listening to livestock being thrown off of a roof, I spent mine reading Old Man's War! Awesome. Just awesome. Off to pursuade the local library to buy Ghost Brigades and Android's Dream!

mythago | December 2, 2006 02:29 PM

Just make sure that the livestock are humanely sedated before he starts flinging them. I mean, I know it's an integral part of the re-roofing process, but there's no reason those chickens have to suffer.

abi | December 2, 2006 02:34 PM

Mythago, now there's a voice in my head singing It's raining hens to the obvious tune.

mythago | December 2, 2006 03:11 PM


Lars | December 2, 2006 03:35 PM

Praise the Lord! Praise him!

Dan | December 2, 2006 03:51 PM

Now there's a former job I do NOT miss.

John Scalzi | December 2, 2006 04:03 PM

You pushed livestock off people's roofs?

Nathan | December 2, 2006 04:26 PM


If you'd invited the livestock over yesterday and gotten a pic when the rainbow was out, we could be riffing on Scalzi's Ark right now. With Zombies!

Steve Thorn | December 2, 2006 04:43 PM

Yeah, the wind was wicked yesterday.

We lost another trampoline. Pics posted: http://www.stevethorn.com/blog/index.php?/archives/140-Rest-In-Piece-T-2.html

John Scalzi | December 2, 2006 05:10 PM

That's why you flip the trampoline over when the wind kicks up.

Last windstorm we lost a patio table. Wild.

Steve Buchheit | December 2, 2006 05:35 PM

Livestock pitching, sounds like an Amish roofer. Note to Amish, remove shoes from horse BEFORE pitching. Although when you hook some cows up to the milking machine they give you a wide-eyed look that makes you think they're about to hurl themselves; even when you pre-heat the pumps.

Yup, just got done sawing up two trees that decided to break in the wind yesterday. I could only use the electric chain saw (as I need a new chain on the gas saw). That was fun standing in puddles sawing up a tree with an electrical cord running behind you. It's usually in the Spring when we have wind storms.

Annalee Flower Horne | December 2, 2006 07:39 PM

But hey, at least the snow missed us, right?

(At least it did before I went and jinxed it...).

another steve | December 2, 2006 07:45 PM

I tried your hint on removing the shoes from the horse before pitching. It did not seem to make any difference on how far I could pitch the horse.

Steve Buchheit | December 2, 2006 08:00 PM

Another Steve, thank you. Thank you. We'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip the veal and try the wait-staff.

Say, ever hear of sheep dip? It goes great with crackers.

Wow, have you noticed John's Blog is filling with Steves (Stevii?)?

Steve Thorn | December 2, 2006 08:19 PM

Stevii,.. I like that. Kind of like the Elvii sightings in Vegas..

CaseyL | December 2, 2006 08:48 PM

""As God is my witness, I honestly thought pigs could fly!"

Steve Buchheit | December 2, 2006 08:55 PM

CaseyL, Oh thank you. Until then I was singing

Here a Steve, there a Steve
Everywhere a Steve, Steve
Ol' writer John, he had a blog
E-I-E-I-O (and sometimes Y)

Now it's
... And any fool knows a dog need a home.
A shelter from pigs on the wing.

Dr. Phil | December 2, 2006 10:48 PM

We solved the losing shingles problem by having a layer of frozen rain put down before a thin cushion of fresh white snow.

But I know what you mean. We've lost a few shingles due to the high speed wind tunnel we live in -- had some replaced this summer in fact. Lots of banging and crashing.

Next up -- having a hole cut in the basement floor to install the sump pump that no one thought would be needed in the house.

Dr. Phil

Chang, who gets nothing done without BRAINZ | December 2, 2006 10:58 PM

I got my ass buffeted around on I95 coming down from Maine in a rental Charger. Damn lame car. Kept getting sideswiped by hellish winds.

No snnow, only rain up here. Boston is beautiful from my hotel window. 16th floor of the Doubletree. Kind of nice... Pictures, soon.

Jenny Rae Rappaport | December 2, 2006 11:16 PM

We got nothing... some giant wind gusts at the orchard down the road, which uprooted one whole segment of their trees, but nothing else. Also, a broken traffic light, near the orchard, which needed to be replaced.

I live in NJ and I demand snow! Do you hear me weather gods?! =)

alex | December 2, 2006 11:26 PM

old man's war and ghost brigade were the best books that i have ever read and i usually don't read except in school, anyways i was wondering if "The Androids Dream" was a trequal or the third book in the series of the first two books that i've read. Thanks *^_^*

John Scalzi | December 3, 2006 12:11 AM

Alex, is an unrelated book. A third book in the "Old Man" series will be out in May, called The Last Colony.

Diatryma | December 3, 2006 12:17 AM

Steves, I think the comments just get more similar names. I *never* run into Cassies in my typical life, and I managed to confuse myself with the other one here. Scalzi spawn plurality of identity.

Ginny | December 3, 2006 07:56 AM

Why complain? Just think of all the beef you'll have for barbecue season!

Pat J | December 3, 2006 11:02 AM

When they fixed my roof (steep slope + inexpert homeowner = roofing contractor + $$$), I was at work for the bulk of it. I came home at lunch the first day (of a two-day job) and saw a jumble pile of half a dozen RAID cans. My wife informed me that they'd found a wasp nest in the roof, and one of the guys had been stung a few times. At least he wasn't allergic, I thought.

Actually, that's not true. The first thing I thought was, At least it wasn't me.

Dan | December 3, 2006 12:57 PM

Scalzi: You pushed livestock off people's roofs?

Yes. The animals were hiding up there from the hungry villagers, and I had to re-thatch the roof. Really, it was a win-win.

By the way, wind damage isn't so bad. I mean, you really could have livestock on your roof.
Scalzi's New Roof?

mythago | December 3, 2006 02:05 PM

We solved the losing shingles problem by having a layer of frozen rain put down before a thin cushion of fresh white snow.

As I recall, you're supposed to put an additional layer of frozen rain on top of the snow. And on your driveway.

Steve Buchheit | December 4, 2006 04:27 PM

"a layer of frozen rain"

Well, because it's the season.

Off of the rooftop, reindeer fall
There goes good ol' Santa Claus
Off of the rooftop will all the toys
Oh, for the woes of little girls and boys

Ho, Ho, Whoa!
Who would know?
Ho, Ho, Whoa!
Who would know?
Off of the rooftop, quick, quick, quick.
Down off the chimney
Down off the chimney
Down with good Saint Nick.

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