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August 29, 2006

Apropos of Nothing in Particular

Me (to Krissy): Hey, sweetheart, what would you do if someone decided to try to grope you in public?

Krissy: I think it depends.

Me: On what?

Krissy: Well, the pinky is the easiest finger to break, but breaking someone's thumb hurts them more.

Me: There's a broken finger involved in any event, though.

Krissy: A fractured finger, at the very least.

Posted by john at August 29, 2006 09:13 PM

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La Gringa | August 29, 2006 09:25 PM

I just spit chili all over the keyboard, thank you very much!

Dan Layman-Kennedy | August 29, 2006 09:52 PM

Now that's a dangerous vision.

Jas | August 29, 2006 09:52 PM

Good sense, that wife of yours. Everyone knows the instinct for a man is to protect his genetals when being attacked, so the hands are probably the least of his worries.

As well as providing a useful option for being groped by a woman.

Clearmoon | August 29, 2006 10:17 PM

What a woman.... Sounds like a keeper to me.

John Scalzi | August 29, 2006 10:21 PM

You'd be right about that, Clearmoon.

Gwenda | August 29, 2006 10:22 PM

This is why Krissy is the awesomest.

Firebyrd | August 30, 2006 12:16 AM

Your wife needs to give lessons to Hugo winners, methinks.

Djscman | August 30, 2006 12:38 AM

Uh, Firebird, was someone groping Hugo winners?

John Scalzi | August 30, 2006 12:59 AM

That's a reminder that not everyone who reads Whatever is an SF geek.

Jill Smith | August 30, 2006 07:06 AM

Oh, Scalzi. Your wife is just so.... likeable.

Chang | August 30, 2006 08:01 AM

Wow. Awesome. Lucky you, Scalzi.

So does that mean she could beat up that ex-girlfriend of yours? The martial artist?

John Scalzi | August 30, 2006 08:25 AM

You know what? That's the sort of question that is best left unexplored.

Ann Vallier | August 30, 2006 09:47 AM

I have found an elbow to the nose to be pretty effective as well. Eyes and hands are busy and down low and usually unable to block the incoming.

John H | August 30, 2006 09:52 AM

Was Krissy assuming that the someone in question would not be you, or would her answer apply regardless?

Lis Carey | August 30, 2006 09:54 AM

Firebyrd, since apparently everyone else is bent on being a tease: A very prominent, aging, male sf writer groped a very prominent female sf writer, on-stage, in full view of audience and videocameras, while they were presenting the Hugos. The gropee decided to go with the "completely ignore it" response and get on with the ceremony in as dignified a way as possible. Discussion of other possible modes of response has followed, with most of the suggested methods being quite a bit more colorful, with Krissy's proposed response being by no means the most painful for the groper, if implemented.

Leslie | August 30, 2006 10:04 AM

Simple, to the point, and leaves the groper a nice reminder to mind his manners in the future - I like it!

Stephen G | August 30, 2006 10:33 AM

Out of curiosity, are there any SF authors who aren't aging? I knew writing SF could have its benefits, but damn.

Lis Carey | August 30, 2006 10:48 AM

Uh-oh, I don't think I was supposed to let that get out...

Tor | August 30, 2006 11:00 AM

The ceremony was video'd - so it will get out eventually. Also, shouldn't part of the cost of groping someone in public be the public shame? So.... who was it?

Tripp | August 30, 2006 11:02 AM

This is no time to be coy. I'd like to hear more about the groping incident. Who did it and what did they do?

Tor | August 30, 2006 11:31 AM

Doesn't seem like Scalzi wants to have the name posted here (just guessing here) but a google search or a quick look around PNH's Livejournal will give you the details.

John Scalzi | August 30, 2006 11:48 AM

Here's a link to the PNH entry discussing the SF groping:


I'm not necessarily trying to be coy about it, I just don't want to have to referee a discussion about it here at the moment. Also, I managed to miss the event in question; I suspect I was looking down at my shiny new plaque when it happened.

John H | August 30, 2006 12:12 PM

Well, I think Patrick's statement was to the point. It's a shame that some men choose to act in such an infantile manner. I would suggest if he's looking for notoriety he should go jump on Oprah's couch like Tom Cruise - but he should just keep his hands to himself...

Lis Carey | August 30, 2006 12:43 PM

I didn't include the culprit's name because it appeared to me that our host preferred not to do so, and I have no wish to involve John in a fight with a, um, notoriously vigorious feuder involuntarily. PNH's livejournal and quite a few other places have the details, with all names named.

Dan Layman-Kennedy | August 30, 2006 01:39 PM

As I understand it, the gentleman in question isn't looking for notoriety; he found it, years ago, and has spent much of the intervening time jumping up and down and waving it so everyone knows he's got it.

Tripp | August 30, 2006 02:51 PM

Ugh. I'm almost sorry I asked, although it is worth it to identify the perv in question.

What an a hole, and I don't use that term lightly. He gives a bad name to men everywhere. I wish he was arrested. I wish somebody would clean his clock. This kind of stuff really pisses me off.

dichroic | August 30, 2006 02:55 PM

I didn't see Krissy Hugo night and am sorry for it now, after hearing that her dress was the *other* great one of the night, along with Betty Ballantine's. I saw Betty's, so it must have been a hell of a dress to be worthy of comparison.

Jon | August 30, 2006 06:12 PM

I didn't see the grope either, but I believe it completely because I have seen other totally boorish Harlan behavior. What should happen, but won't, is that the next worldcon committee should inform him that he is not welcome as any sort of guest or member, and then when he shows up anyway, have him forcibly removed by security. It wasn't cute, it wasn't funny, but it was insulting to everyone.

Kathryn Cramer | August 30, 2006 10:03 PM

I saw the grope but at the time assumed it must have been staged since NO ONE in their right mind behaves like that. I only found out 24 hours later that it was the real feel.

On the other hand, it was clear to me that his gratuitously calling Virginia Heinlein a bitch from the stage was not a scripted moment, just a public demonstration of what narcissism looks like.

Chang | September 1, 2006 10:00 AM

Ellison "apologizes" here.

It kind of reads like "Meh, I'm an ass. What're you gonna do. Sorry."

Martin Wagner | September 1, 2006 06:46 PM

The real question, John, is what you would do if someone tried to grope you in public.

If the answer is, "Get Krissy to fuck her shit up," just be sure to post the video, mmkay?

John Scalzi | September 1, 2006 06:53 PM

Martin Wagner:

"The real question, John, is what you would do if someone tried to grope you in public."

I've actually had my ass pinched by a girl before, at a dance club. It went down like this:

Me (surprised): Hey, that girl just pinched my ass!

Krissy: Was she cute?

Me (looking back): Um... yeah.

Krissy: Well, all right then. Now let's dance.

(we dance)

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