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May 19, 2006

Professionally Photographed

Ooooooh. A week ago, Official US Playstation Magazine paid for a photographer to come out and take pictures of me, an event I thought auspicious for two reasons: One, it suggested OPM wasn't going to dump me from its roster any time soon, because if they were, why would they pay someone to photograph me, and two, hey, professional photos of me! Neat.

Now the photographer has posted some of the pictures from that session, and I think you should all go over to the photoset and see how much better I look when someone who actually knows what she's doing is snapping the photos. There are several there that make me look like an actual author type, and, of course, me being me, a couple that don't. Knowing the perverse nature of the OPM folks, I'd guess they'd probably pick one of the latter. Maybe I can get Tor to pick up one of the former.

Incidentally, allow me to take a moment to recommend the photographer in question, E. Hardesty of E Hardesty Photography. Not only did she take really excellent pictures of me (a feat in itself), and was a lot of fun to take pictures with, but before she came to shoot me, she read up on me and planned accordingly and brought me pie. And not just any pie -- truly excellent sweet potato pie. Man, she had me at "hello." She could have suggested that rubbing red-hot charcoal bricquettes on my face would make a better picture and I would have done it.

In any event, if you're in Ohio and need portraits, or wedding photography or any other sort of photo needs, now you know who I suggest you contact. I can't promise she'll bring you pie, but I can say I expect she'll make you look good.

Posted by john at May 19, 2006 02:00 PM

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AliceB | May 19, 2006 02:17 PM

The last one from the slide show is definitely the best. I vote for that one on the Tor cover.

Bill | May 19, 2006 02:24 PM

I'll take photos of Cherie Priest over these any day.

John Scalzi | May 19, 2006 02:28 PM

Yeah, but the real question is, would Cherie Priest look as cool throwing up the horns?.

Dave C | May 19, 2006 03:05 PM

Those pictures rock! Especially IMG_1437. :)

Patrick Nielsen Hayden | May 19, 2006 03:07 PM

Wow, it's John Scalzi as played by Jason Dohring.

I figure this is the author photo for The Android's Dream. Surely you agree.

Paul | May 19, 2006 03:07 PM

OK, so all those times you told us you were using photoshop...
Liar. You can make all those faces without digital assistance, can't you? Busted!

John Scalzi | May 19, 2006 03:15 PM


"I figure this is the author photo for The Android's Dream. Surely you agree."

I dare you, Patrick.

Dave Ruddell | May 19, 2006 03:26 PM

The thing is, in the author-ly photos, you look old.

John Scalzi | May 19, 2006 03:39 PM

Well, Dave, I am 37. That whole "youthful glow" thing is heading out the door.

Vanessa | May 19, 2006 03:54 PM

The photo you charmingly label as non-auctorial proves that you have inhumanly pointy eyebrows. You look like a manga drawing (I mean this in a good way).

Even if OPM decides not to use that as your regular photo, I hope they toss this one into the mix every once in a while. Just to show you can rawk.

Matt Arnold | May 19, 2006 04:15 PM

When I wore a black turtleneck like that, Anne said I looked like "a high-class ninja." Welcome to our ranks.

Tripp | May 19, 2006 04:22 PM



I've had a few head shots taken along the way (so that's why Tripp acts that way, arr arr!) and a photgrapher who can make you look better than you are is worth her weight in gold.

Not knowing you it is possible you are absolutely stunning in person and she made you look worse but, well, I dunno. I mean this in a totally non-gay sense of course.

Tripp | May 19, 2006 04:25 PM

Oooh IMG_1472 and 1475 have a Tom Hanksesque quality. 1437 has the Nicolson eyebrows.

Tripp | May 19, 2006 04:34 PM

Okay, out of fairness I'll admit that flickr has a photo of me. Check out http://www.frappr.com/unfogged and look for Tripp in Southern MN. Since I'm still remaining pseudo-anonymous I'm afraid the head is removed.

cherie priest | May 19, 2006 05:54 PM

Well, when I get to Wiscon you can judge my horn-throwing ability for yourself! :P

The pictures are great - I really like IMG_1475; there's something classic-yet-artsy about it.

Dearth Verbose | May 19, 2006 06:59 PM

I'm given to understand that the trick to a good portrait is a long lens, 2x normal to be exact, at least according to a web site I ran across about portrait photos a time ago.

John Scalzi | May 19, 2006 07:03 PM

I've been led to understand that the trick to portrait photography is lots and lots of glitter. But I'm willing to believe yours is the better advice.

eh | May 19, 2006 07:11 PM

Actually John, it's glitter and Vasoline.

Maybe I've said too much.

John Scalzi | May 19, 2006 07:23 PM

Or not enough!

Lanna Lee Maheux-Quinn | May 20, 2006 01:11 AM

Nice pix! You look downright handsome in some of them. (You have to admit that IMG_1535rev does not really show your best side. But it is teh funnay!)

Lanna Lee Maheux-Quinn | May 20, 2006 01:21 AM

Okay, I should have said "most of them" because that is what I meant. Seriously!

Ted Lemon | May 20, 2006 03:21 AM

I like the one where you're the Steve Jobs' evil (fraternal) twin.

Annalee Flower Horne | May 20, 2006 10:06 AM

I'd totally buy any book that used that last picture for the authorpic.

Radical Bender | May 20, 2006 11:36 AM

I *knew* it!

You are Kevin Spacey's stunt double!

Zzedar | May 20, 2006 02:40 PM

There are a couple where you sort of look like Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction. From the neck up, at least.

Laura | May 20, 2006 10:03 PM

It is a pity that you are not...available. You are exactly the kind of man I am looking for. Yes, you are handsome. But I knew this before I saw these fantastic pictures.

John Scalzi | May 20, 2006 10:17 PM

Shucks. Thanks.

Stephen | May 20, 2006 10:33 PM

Weird. I am a hardesty. I have hardesty relatives in Columbus. Once lived there myself. But none of those relatives are photographers. I imagine we're related, somehow. There aren't that many of us. I bet she is irritated at the hardesty in NC that hogs all the hardesty domains but doesn't use them just like I am.

Smurf | May 20, 2006 10:35 PM

"You know... can we just get one of the Akita and the cute kid, instead?"

John Scalzi | May 20, 2006 10:36 PM

She did take pictures of the Akita, actually. The cute kid was at school.

tolladay | May 24, 2006 08:34 PM

1472. Everything else is either too cute or too silly. And while you are at times a cute and silly writer, its not what you want to see on the back of a book jacket 10 years from now.

If you're looking to have one shot professionally retouched, I'll do it for a copy of TGB delivered to my door. My wife willl scream for taking on another "low budget" project, but hey, I'm a fan.

John Scalzi | May 24, 2006 08:52 PM

Thanks. I don't own these particular pictures, so I can't have you do that. And I know these pictures are simply the pictures out of the camera, without any retouching done (I assume she posted them to show to the client). My assumption is that the photog will do any additional retouching.

tolladay | May 25, 2006 09:23 PM

You're probably right, but having worked for a publisher I know they often appreciate authors pulling things together for them.

Regardless, the retouching needs are slight. However, do keep me in mind for the next one. Guess I'll be making an Amazon order this weekend.

Becky | May 25, 2006 11:50 PM

Oww oww oww! My sides are killing me! The last few photos had me laughing soooo hard! You are a hoot and a half! But this one is the best:

Professional but not too somber. She did a great job!

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