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September 26, 2005

The Actress

Okay, watch this:

Athena looks happy... until I tell her that we've sold her for medical experiments!

Now, now. I'm just kidding about the medical experiments. We'd never sell you for medical experiments, sweetie. Unless, of course, we could get a really good deal. But I see I've distressed you. What say I get you some ice cream?

 

Did I mention it's Kitten Ripple ice cream?

I jest! I jest! They haven't made kitten ripple since the 1930s. It's actually Chunky Kitties and Cream!

 

All right! What an amazing performance! The pathos! The pain! The kittens! Come on honey, take a bow.

Thank you, and good night! 

Posted by john at September 26, 2005 01:06 PM

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Comments

RooK | September 26, 2005 02:17 PM

It would have been more believable if we hadn't previously seen pictures of her about to pulp a cat with a baseball bat. Still, there's certainly nothing to fault about her expressions; they'd be certain to fool people who haven't seen Athena in her bloodsucking form (a la Photoshop).

Jon Hansen | September 26, 2005 02:19 PM

Are you hoping to turn her into the next Macaulay Culkin so you can siphon off her earnings?

John Scalzi | September 26, 2005 02:26 PM

Jon Hansen:

"Are you hoping to turn her into the next Macaulay Culkin so you can siphon off her earnings?"

God, no.

Rook:

"It would have been more believable if we hadn't previously seen pictures of her about to pulp a cat with a baseball bat."

Well, mind you, we're not trying to suggest these are real emotions playing across Athena's face, merely realistic facsimilies thereof. They come into play when she's trying to get something she wants and she thinks a timely apllication of emotion will sway the jury. Clearly, we're on to the game.

Jon Hansen | September 26, 2005 02:28 PM

Ah. Going the Jodie Foster route, then. Good choice. Much classier.

Ryan Freebern | September 26, 2005 04:09 PM

And just in time for Oscar season, too.

Robert Brook | September 26, 2005 04:32 PM

Hilarious. Also frightening!

Chad Orzel | September 26, 2005 04:59 PM

Let's see, that's six cute pictures, minimal Photoshopping... According to my calculations, that means John has a publishing deadline next Tuesday, at 4:23 PM.

Next Monday around 7, I would expect something like nine pictures, with bunnies and unicorns and psychadelic toads Photoshopped in...

Bill Higgins-- Beam Jockey | September 26, 2005 07:02 PM

According to my calculations, that means John has a publishing deadline next Tuesday, at 4:23 PM.



Chad, you've got a mathematical model!



I urge you to turn this into a spec script for NUMB3RS.

John Scalzi | September 26, 2005 07:08 PM

Actually I have a friday deadline. So HA!

Chad Orzel | September 27, 2005 04:46 PM

Bill: Chad, you've got a mathematical model!

John: Actually I have a friday deadline. So HA!

Obviously, my model needs work...

Bill: I urge you to turn this into a spec script for NUMB3RS.

It's a thought. Problem is, I think I might gouge my eyes out with a spork before I could write the fifteen-minute scene in which the dorky guy lectures the entire FBI about some obscure mathematical topic.

Trent Steel | September 28, 2005 08:18 AM

Kitten Ripple and Chunky Kitties and Cream. That's gold right there. Especially Kitten Ripple. That's great =)

Wan Zafran | September 28, 2005 02:29 PM

She's adorable ^_^

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