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September 23, 2005

How to Tell your Sick Child is Feeling Better


1. She kicks your ass at Soul Calibur II.

2. She trash talks you while she's doing it.  

Posted by john at September 23, 2005 05:11 PM

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Steve Eley | September 23, 2005 05:25 PM

Now, both of those I can believe, having played that game.

But to kick your ass at Soul Caliber II and trash talk you while wearing that hat?

That's superhuman.

T.M. Wagner | September 23, 2005 05:32 PM

You simply must videotape some of these "Athena kicks dad's ass and takes his name" sessions sometime and entertain us with some Quicktime streams.

John Scalzi | September 23, 2005 05:40 PM

Boy, that would cause the trash talk to reach intolerable levels. Athena loves an audience.

Penny | September 23, 2005 05:45 PM

Well, duh!!! I'm just surprised that YOU seem to be surprised!!! Go Athena!!!!!

Zzedar | September 23, 2005 08:44 PM

I believe it's "Calibur," not "Caliber." Named after King Arthur's sword, not bullet size.

John Scalzi | September 23, 2005 10:08 PM

I always wondered about that. Fixed.

Wan Zafran | September 23, 2005 10:43 PM

I'm a new, but will be a fervent, reader of your site, John.

*cough* I think you should head to a site called Gamefaqs. Find a suitable guide, read it thoroughly, practice the game feverishly when your daughter isn't around, and teach her who's boss the next time you battle her.

Jon Hansen | September 23, 2005 11:03 PM

Love that hat.

Tom Nixon | September 23, 2005 11:16 PM

The piece that John leaves out is that both he and Athena wear matching hats.

Pretty sad when its her saying, "Who's your daddy?"

Kizz | September 23, 2005 11:18 PM

Want. That. Hat.

Joe Rybicki | September 24, 2005 12:19 AM

John, just pick Raphael and hit Forward, Triangle, Triangle, Triangle. Repeat. It's one of the cheapest moves in the game. Of course, if she knows how to counter you'd be screwed. And I'd be impressed.

Nicholas Condon | September 24, 2005 09:31 AM

Okay, I'm curious: What character does she use to kick your ass? Somehow, I'm having a bit of difficulty picturing a 6-year-old girl using Voldo...

John Scalzi | September 24, 2005 09:47 AM

She uses a variety of characters, actually, but is most fond of Taki. She also likes Nightmare.

Bear in mind that she doesn't win every single game (and she hates that). But she wins more than she doesn't.

mythago | September 24, 2005 10:29 AM

I believe Soul Calibur III is out or about to be, so maybe there is a chance for you.

("Now! With more caliburs!")

Joe Rybicki | September 24, 2005 01:19 PM

SCIII, as the kids are saying these days, is teh r0XX0rzzorz. You can create your own character. Mine is named Lord Pantsly.

There's a demo in the November issue of OPM, on store shelves in two weeks! Hurry, supplies are running out!

mythago | September 24, 2005 07:14 PM

John, I find that old arcade games are a good way to WTFPWNINTEHFACE! your kids. Yeah, maybe they can whup me at Super Monkey Ball 2, but they better not be wagering their allowances on Pac-Man, baby.

(Also, give Dance Dance Revolution a try. When they find out that Mom has an unfair advantage, mine are gonna be pissed--but at any rate, it's good exercise.)

Kasey Mackenzie | September 26, 2005 11:59 AM

Ahhh, reminds me when I was staying home with my ex boyfriends kids and the 10-year-old's friends came over and played Goldeneye on N64 all the time...Tell you what, I had to learn how to kick ass on that game out of self-preservation so I could hold my own with the 10-year-olds rather than being embarrassed. Served me well later when I could then beat the pants off the mid 20-year-old men I played with. Course, they got pissed off that a "girl" could beat them so easily and refused to play with me anymore...

I'm thrilled to see that Athena's dad is much more progressive than they were! =)

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